Free Payday Loans Online Free Payday Loans Online

Archive for October, 2010

SOME QUESTIONS HAVE NO ANSWERS: LIVING WITH AMBIGUITY

A mother wrote an email message to me. This is part of it: Those of us who love our addicted children have felt pain, love, hope, and the helplessness that take over our lives. Our son is in a treatment aftercare right now and I feel hope, but the fear is always there. Even though he is now sober, we do not know how our story ends, and with the disease of addiction the story can change so quickly and dangerously. What could we have done to change our son’s fall into addiction?  What signs did we miss – or better still – could we have done anything to prevent this?

My personal reflection on the passage above, offering my thoughts today: This is the silver-bullet question: What could we have done to prevent the addiction? As parents, this is the question we ask over and over again. We are plagued with doubts, but nothing changes the fact that the addiction exists. Many medical folks call it a disease. My son has it. He’ll live with it for all of his life. I pray he continues to fight.

Today’s promise to consider for all of us who love addicts: There are some questions that have no answers. There are some ambiguities with which we must live. Maybe I could have done something differently to alter the course of this disease, but I’ll never know for sure. My son is addicted and I will learn how to stay close to him. I will accept that sometimes there are no answers.


RELAPSE

My son wrote this to me several years ago: Mom, know that I never mean to hurt you. These last couple months have been hard – for both of us. Thank you for not giving up on me. Your strength gives me strength. You believe in me at times more than I believe in myself.

My personal reflection on the passage above offering my thoughts today: My son wrote this to me when he entered his first rehab center. This was the first of many rehab centers, but I didn’t know that then. What his written words told me was that my son was still alive under all the drugs. His humanity was not lost. Yes, he was a drug addict and yes, he was sick, but he was still my son under it all. Someone had to believe because he couldn’t believe in himself. I do believe he never meant to hurt the family or me. He was sick and the addiction was selfish. I stayed close.

Today’s promise to consider for all of us who love addicts: Each rehab attempt is another victory and each relapse is a step closer to recovery. My son needs to know that home won’t move away from him. I’ll stay close. Under the drugs, my son is alive.


NOT ALONE

A mother wrote an email message to me. This is part of it: My son is a high functioning (honor student in high school and at university) heroin addict. I can’t even believe that I can write or say these words. I feel so isolated most of the time. My son is very successful and he says that he’s in recovery. All I can say is that I think he is, but I am never sure. They are so good at deception. I analyze every single thing he does and says.  Sometimes I feel I will truly go crazy. In this crowded world, I feel totally and completely alone.

My personal reflection on the passage above, offering my thoughts today: This mother’s words – I feel totally and completely alone – are true for many of us. Silence rules the day and the silence keeps the addiction. We must break the silence in order to bring addiction out of the shadows and into the light. We are not alone. The research says that for every one addict four others are directly affected.

Today’s promise to consider for all of us who love addicts: I know that I am not alone. I will face the addiction with the help of others. Al-Anon and other groups provide for me a sense of community. I will break the silence that crusts over my heart and, in doing so, try to break the hold that addiction has on my family. 

1 Comment more...

  • Translate

  • Weekly Meditations

    We'll send our meditations directly to your e-mail every week.
    * = required field

    powered by MailChimp!
  • The AddIct's Mom

    Magnolia
  • Recent Comments

  •  
     
     Libby Cataldi - Stay Close. All Rights Reserved. Site Disclaimer | Powered by WordPress | Admin