Jeff and niece Iysa
HAVING FUN IN RECOVERY
Jeff wrote: Getting sober is the most important thing an addict will ever do, but it has to be enjoyable along the way. It’s my opinion that recovery should include a sense of both seriousness and levity. A program involving step work and meetings and spirituality should be balanced with hang time with friends, art and exercise – or some combination of things we enjoy. Ultimately, sobriety is about restoring the fun and inspiration in our lives.
My reflection: When Jeff and I talked about this topic, I was confused and questioned him saying, “How is it possible to have fun in recovery? I thought changing from a drug-filled life to a sober life would be excruciating.” He responded with the message above.
Today’s Promise to consider: For both the addict and those of us who love addicts, recovery is a critical endeavor, but it’s also a time during which to have fun and rediscover the joys in life. We don’t forget the past, but we learn from it and embrace life again.
Jeff is so right. If my son would have done these things that are mentioned, I really believe he would be here today.
Thanks, Jeff. And, what a beautiful picture of you and Llysa.
Thank you Libby. For an insightful meditation for all addicts out there and for us who love addicts.
My daughter, a recovering heroin addict, says almost everyday, “I love my life.” She laughs and has more fun than almost anyone I know. And when my mother recently passed away, my daughters were my greatest support and comfort. What we give to our children in keeping them close, we get back over the coming years.
“Having fun” is probably the most uncomfortable thing, the hardest work I have ever done. I am not a jolly ha ha kind of person. Fun has never been a priority. Just means I really really really need to learn to – right? Having fun may well kill me! I have goals, I have purpose, I have responsibility, I have satisfaction in things and activities. But I have to have fun????
Dear Barbara, Life is fragile. Why do things happen the way they do? I don’t know, but I do know that life isn’t fair. I think of Job in the Bible. To me Job is one of the best examples of, ‘bad things happen to good people.’ I thank you for staying close with wisdom and love.
Susan, Jeff says the same thing – that he has too much to lose if he goes back to drugs. I pray everyday that this and his faith in God will sustain him through life’s challenges.
Kathy, You have goals, purpose, responsibility and satisfaction. These sound perfect to me. Keep doing what you’re doing.
Love to you all,
L
For so many years confusion, chaos, fear and worry have been the norm in my life. I can’t remember having fun and if I did there was always the guilt that somehow I was letting my daughter down and forgetting her pain.
It’s been a year now since we have heard from her and we are finally realizing we must move on. This I know does not mean I have forgotten or love my daughter any less it simply means my I am fighting for my own survival.
I can attribute this in part to a slogan I read not long ago and although I have read it a hundred times for some reason it hit me hard that day and has been incredibly helpful in maintaining my spirits.
“Let it begin with me”
Each morning and throughout the day I remind myself that I can make this change, I can smile and bring happiness back into my life, that I can have fun without guilt.
This disease has the ability to totally consume us along with our loved ones and relapses into sadness and depression are just around the corner. It does take some effort but I am seeing now that it is worth it .
Dearest Sue,
You have great courage to let go and move on with your life. I remember like it was yesterday, the day I let my son go and I got on with my life. You are so right – it takes much effort, but it’s better than falling back into sadness and depression that cripples us. The crippling part for me was guilt. It was the most difficult thing for me to overcome. But, if you let go, let God and have fun, it will fall into place. Your daughter will find her way back to sobriety when SHE lets go. I will pray for her. I will pray that she lets go sooner than later. ‘Let it begin with me’ sounds like a great way to start the day!
My love to you,
Barbara