A mother wrote to me: My son is 27, in a halfway house, and on the methadone program. I don’t know how it happened. He taught himself to program in Linux as an eighth-grade student, before Linux was available on the market. He read books with thousands of pages on Solaris and other programs. As a precocious young man, at 18 he worked as a programmer and systems administrator. His skill brought in huge paychecks, which quickly became paychecks to drug dealers.
My reflection: Our children are bright and capable, they’ve been loved and cared for, yet something happens and they lose themselves to drugs. My son was a leader, captain of the soccer team, and an A student. Addiction didn’t care about any of this.
Today’s Promise to consider: Addiction doesn’t discriminate. It happens in solid families and broken families, in educated families and in uneducated families. Often we as parents don’t see the problem coming because our children are scholars and athletes. They are “good kids” to the outside world. Today, I will accept that addiction doesn’t discriminate.
Reminds me that I, as a parent, was never in control and neither was my addicted child. Addiction is in total control and the disease simply has to wear itself out. So, as Libby tells us, stay close but try not to enable.
Pat, Thanks, as always, for your wisdom earned through years of suffering. xo
Yes, substance abuse disorders do not discriminate but maybe it is more shocking when ones loved one was high functioning and excelling at life with solid values and morals and then drastically becomes a person of abuse and darkness. So when I am told that drugs don’t discriminate, I feel a lack of empathy
and understanding.
Dear Beth, I understand. My son was a functioning heroin addict for many years. It took me fourteen years to understand that he was suffering as we all were. Nothing is easy with addiction.
These words are so true- drugs do not discriminate. My son was loved and cared for, smart and funny, with a loving supportive family. His home life was one that many people would envy. He was taught and shown how to love God, have faith, and about choice and accountability. When it came to drugs, none of these things would matter to him, at least when the longing and craving came. Someday I do know that I will have a complete understanding, but until then, I can only Hope that his inner strength will prevail, and come to realize his self worth and importance.
Dear Bobbi, I join you in prayer and hope that your son’s inner strength will prevail and that he will come home to himself and your family. It took my son fourteen years. Miracles happen.