Dr. MacAfee wrote: As addicts become increasingly drawn into addiction, their families get drawn into dysfunction. The common dynamic shows the family polarizing and moving into either/or thinking. The addict becomes the major focus for some family members. For others, the addict is a target for rejection, disdain, and fury.

My reflection: The drama of addiction took over our family’s life. The fear of watching my son fail was frightening, and I spent most of my time defending him to people who knew little about this disease.

Today’s Promise to consider: The pain and confusion of addiction became more manageable when I took the initial step to name and define what was going on. When I got honest and quit living in delusion, I became open to the help of Al-Anon and started to accept the wisdom of other recovering individuals. I also became transparent with our beloved addiction specialist. By taking addiction out of the shadows and bringing it into the light, I started to heal. So did my son.

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I hit my bottom last year. When I think of how sick I was, sticking my nose in ALL of my son’s affairs, I am amazed. I was so convinced it was my job to live his life for him. I have found a wonderful AlAnon home group and I rarely miss a meeting. Not only has it helped me to “mind my own business” it has helped my son to live HIS life on HIS terms.

Pat Nichols
Thanks Libby, best suggestion a parent will ever hear. A mom was visiting our support group for parents of addicted children. She came regularly for several weeks and then stop attending. I ran into her at a grocery store and asked if she was going to return to our group and she responded, “I don’t think so, it was too structured.” I understand completely as that was my mind set at one time in my journey. However, what I have learned is I needed structure and accountability in my own life just like my addicted child would eventually require the… Read more »