A mother writes: Our daughter, both strikingly beautiful and musically gifted, signed a recording contract with an International music company at the age of fifteen. I traveled with her extensively and never had an idea what was going on right in my presence. At seventeen, she graduated a year early as valedictorian of a private school catering to performers. Unbeknownst to us, she was already addicted to cocaine when she left for university on a full music scholarship. I blamed her stuffy nose on allergies, and she gladly accepted the air cleaner I bought for her dorm room. We only learned of her addiction after a suicide attempt.

My reflection: We don’t see the addiction as it unfolds right before our eyes. This seems impossible, yet it happens every day to even the most vigilant parents. We see the dilated pupils, hear the stuffy nose and wonder where our child’s spirit and humor have gone. We want to think the best of them. We want to believe us when they tell us, “Mom, I’m fine. Please don’t worry. All is OK.”

Today’s Promise to consider: We parents want the best for our children. When we realize that we’ve been in denial, we often blame ourselves and feel betrayed, stupid or tricked. We’re not alone. Today, I will face the truth with love and move forward, one day at a time.



Leave a Reply


Notify of
Sort by:   newest | oldest

Thank you, Libby, for creating a safe space for all of us ~

Pat Nichols

Great post! I would encourage my fellow travelers to get out of addiction way and let it wear itself out as the AA quote succinctly states, “Sick and tired of being sick and tired.” Even if we became the smartest parents in the world regarding addiction and we were allowed to go back and correct all of our “perceived” mistakes addiction would simply find a way to maneuver itself until it could complete its path of destruction. Such is the nature of the disease.