“I LEARNED TO LET GO WITH LOVE”

A mother wrote to me: I bailed him out and fixed it all. I finally went to Families Anonymous and Nar-Anon and realized I didn’t cause the addiction and I can’t change it – only my son can do that and, by enabling so much, I was doing him more harm than good. 

He was arrested again and remained in jail for three weeks, no one to bail him out. He worked on his own with a public defender to get accepted into drug court in lieu of jail. He now goes to meetings, is drug tested, and meets with the judge. I learned that I needed to let go with love.

My reflection: I have spoken with many young people all over the world and they have told me, “It’s not my parent’s fault. Drugs are powerful, more powerful than you can imagine. I needed to make the choice to stop. When the consequences of my addiction got to be more than I could handle, I made the decision for myself.”

Today’s Promise to consider: I will never quit believing in my loved one who is suffering, but I need to get out of the way and allow her to come to sobriety on her terms. When she’s ready for recovery, I will help. Otherwise, I’ll stay close and wait for her to make the decision of health – not for me, but for herself.

 

 

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libbycataldiPat Nichols Recent comment authors
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I kept failing at fixing my son then this brilliant idea suddenly appeared in my enabling/codependent mind, I will attend open AA meetings and talk with those in recovery! I will learn what their family and friends did to get them to stop using drugs. I spent a month at these meetings and what I kept hearing was stories of how God entered their lives or when their parents and/or family got out of their way or some would tell me, they just couldn’t take it any more. This was not what I wanted to hear but it is what… Read more »