Our grandchild (Thanks to Mom Aeriona and younger son Papa Jeremy)
A mother writes: My husband and I have tried everything, even letting our son stay in jail. I don’t know how our journey will end, but I pray that he will accept the help he so desperately needs. I feel such despair and such anger that this happening to us. What makes it worse is that he is a father to a beautiful seven-year-old little boy who I worry about all the time. He is such an innocent.
My personal reflection: Addiction brings entire families to their knees. We as parents struggle and we suffer doubly as we watch the trauma extend to our grandchildren who don’t deserve this turmoil. Addiction isn’t fair and stops at nothing but full destruction. The little children get caught in the chaos and someone needs to help them through their confusion.
Today’s Promise to Consider: I will stay close to the innocent ones and allow them to share their feelings. I will be strong for them and support them always, especially when their family systems are spiraling out of control.
Thank you Libby for the blessing of this weekly blessing. I look foward to it like I look foward to my Al ANon group. Yes addiction is powerful. It does bring us all to our knees as a tornadoe destroys what is in its path. I am grateful that my son has no innocent ones to suffer. Our suffering as his family is certainly enough. His own suffering is enough. I pray for his strength and for a plan from God that will help him heal and be productive. That is my daily prayer. If just that happens I can be happy. Amazing that after all these years of Al Anon my happiness still is guaged by my children’s health and happiness. Any mother would understand
my son is getting out of jail tomorrow. and i am taking him to a rehab three hours away from our home. i pray this works. as a mother its very hard to see your son behind glass for months, and not be able to touch them, but at least he is alive, and i thank god for that. it has been a very diffacult road, i pray it is almost over. it is all up to him now. addiction has robbed the family of happiness, togeatherness, and total family time. so i believe we are all innocent to some degree, addiction is evil…
This really hits home with me because currently our only 2 grandchildren are in foster care as our son and their mother (they are no longer together) are addicts. We are keeping our relationship with the grandchildren with our visits and I cherish them but I feel such anger towards my son for letting his addiction come first, for letting this happen. What should have been a joyous time in our lives has been tarnished. When people at work talk about their kids and grandkids I feel myself die inside and hope they don’t ask me about mine because I feel such sadness, shame and embarassment, as well as a host of other feelings. I pray daily for his recovery but it seems to be getting worse. He left detox a couple days ago and met some people from the street and has been staying with them for a couple days. We are sick with worry and I wonder if this is going to be his rock bottom? I know we can’t let their choices dictate our happiness but I am just sick inside and wonder how much more I will have to take, as I’m sure all of you have felt at one time or another. I am finding it so hard to carry on with everyday life when I’m screaming inside with sadness and worry. Christmas is supposed to be a joyous time but I’m left wondering if my son is sleeping somewhere warm, if he’s safe. I feel despair.
Dear Jane,
Your last line really hit me, “Amazing that after all these years of Al Anon my happiness still is guaged by my children’s health and happiness. Any mother would understand.” You are correct. I try hard to allow my serenity, my happiness, to be independent of my son’s health or heartache. Sometimes I get lucky for a while, but a mother’s heart, a parent’s heart, has a powerful connection to our children.
I join you in prayer that your son heals and is productive. My love to you,
L
Dear Connie,
My prayers are with you as your son enters a rehab center. You’re right that addiction robs families of happiness and times to be together. Addiction smothers life.
We are here for you and sending you strength.
L
Dear Glenda,
I’m so sorry. Your only two grandchildren are not with your son and your son is sick and on the streets. What is rock bottom? I don’t know. Jeff hit many points during his active addiction when I thought, “This is it. This is rock bottom.” But there is a saying in AA, “Just when I thought I hit my bottom, the bottom fell out.” Jeff continued to spiral downward until HE chose. I was powerless and could only Stay Close.
I’ll join you in prayer for some moment of peace during this holiday season and for healing for your son. Where there is life there is hope.
With love,
L