A sister of an addict wrote to me: My brother has been in and out of rehab for years. Mom constantly believed his lies. She’d send him money, bail him out, and let him live at home. He has alienated all of us siblings. He has a son, grandchildren, and he had such a good life in front of him. No matter how hard we tried and what we did, he just refuses to believe he has a problem. I try to help, but I don’t know what to do to help anyone anymore, especially my parents. It’s breaking my heart.
My reflection: Siblings often find themselves in the difficult space between their brother or sister and their parents. Loyalties are smashed, love is questioned, and chaos reigns.
Today’s Promise to consider: All family members suffer when addiction enters the home, but siblings are thrust into an especially conflicted place. They might be asked to be arbitrator, counselor, spy, anchor, or player in the drama, then at other times they are left to the side, in confusion. They love their brother or sister, but loathe the damage the addiction does to family. Today, I will listen to my non-addicted children. I will reach out and support them.