Brother Ted and family

A mother wrote to me: I have found strength in a very close Nar-Anon group and continue to attend meetings regularly.  My husband and I and my son’s sister are here for him when HE is ready to change. We know we can’t force him to change – we’ve tried. After three failed rehab attempts, we have nothing else to give him. Somehow our love isn’t enough.

My reflection: I learned that once the addiction is in charge, our children are not. They are under the drugs and using becomes a chase, a necessity, a way of life. I used to tell my son, “If you loved us, you’d stop,” but addiction takes the healthiest parts of love and smashes them into worry, helplessness and hopelessness.

Today’s Promise to consider: I used to think that love was enough to beat addiction down, but it isn’t. My son needed to make the decision to live a sober life. He once told me, “I love you and never wanted to hurt you. I tried to keep you out of the way and to the side, but I’m an addict, Mom. I’m an addict.”

Leave a Reply

3 Comment threads
2 Thread replies
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
3 Comment authors
libbycataldiPat NicholsJohn Whitford Recent comment authors
newest oldest
Notify of
John Whitford
John Whitford

Hi Libby, Watched an interesting movie last night, ‘Thanks for Sharing’ and got to thinking about all the various forms of addiction, substance, behavior, sex, gambling, food, and so on. I would expect that most of us have some sort of addiction. Today many young people seem to be addicted to electronics, gaming, texting and even to the extent that they shut out family and take risks like texting while driving. My physician once told me that ‘addictive personality’ is considered by many professionals to be a hereditary condition. I’m not certain I buy that but just because you may… Read more »

John Whitford
John Whitford

Addictive personality

Pat Nichols

At some point the disease of addiction will wear itself out and when that happens the addicted child needs “hope” if recovery is to be successful. Hope is what ignites the passion for a new life in recovery. Hope is implanted by family and friends a little at a time throughout the child’s addiction. Hope is “forgiveness,” hope is the family’s full understanding, healthy involvement and support of recovery. Hope is making the addicted child know he is welcomed back into the family. Hope is letting the child know is is “loved.” You must learn to grieve the loss of… Read more »