A mom wrote to me, I just returned from Thanksgiving dinner. The highlight of the day was the conversation between my nephew and my son, both of whom are recovering addicts. They are in such a good place in their lives, looking and feeling human again. I marveled at their strength, courage and honesty. They had us in tears, we laughed so hard. I’ve learned never to lose hope. Heartfelt thanks.
My reaction: Jeff, when he was deep in the throes of his addiction, once told me, “You believe in me more than I believe in myself.” He tells me today that I was right. Someone has to believe because without hope, all is lost. There is a Tibetan expression in which I’ve found strength, “Even if the rope breaks nine times, we must splice it back together a tenth time. Even if ultimately we do fail, at least there will be no feelings of regret.”
Today’s Promise to consider: I will keep believing and hoping, especially during the most difficult times. I will lean on God, reach out a hand to another and remember that it is through difficulty that we grow. I will take time every day for heartfelt thanks.
I have not been very vocal recently, and there is a reason for that. My son has decided to live a sober life recently and it seems that every time I make that fact known, well, I guess you could say all hell breaks loose again. So I decided not to say anything, but just to enjoy one day at a time and continue to hope. Today as I read comments from others, I realized I was being so very selfish. After all part of the reason for this forum is to provide hope to others and to let others know they are not alone, so I made the decision to share that my son is currently doing well. Thanksgiving was so wonderful and while I am always thankful for him, my granddaughter and his girlfriend I was extra thankful on that day. So no matter what happens in the days to come, today I am so very thankful that he has decided to live sober and I am thankful for all of you in this forum for allowing me to share my feelings. Love to you all
Penny, Thanks for leading by example. You are right that sharing hope is a big part of our journey. Several years ago, Jeff and I presented our story at a sober high school, a place where high schoolers finish their education in a sober environment. There was a young boy, kind of surly, with a mildly aggressive demeanor. After Jeff spoke, the boy said directly to Jeff, “If you can do it, if you can stay sober, I know I can, too.” Hope leads the way with all of us, addicts and those who love them. It’s one day at a time. Love to you.
Dear Penny,
Thank you for sharing with us. So happy to hear that your son is doing well and has decided to live a sober life (one day at a time!)
Love,
Barbara
Barbara, Your presence and your comments make a huge difference. Thanks for coming back :). Love you!
Hello Penny, Barbara and Libby,
Whatever I do , I have found, has no impact on his decision to stay sober. So thank you for sharing your good news! When he decided he was ready he was ready. So enjoy his sobriety one day at a time Penny and stay in the moment with your own recovery.
With love
Jane
Thanks to everyone who shared. I am very grateful for your willingness to share your experiences of hope.
In my journey with my addicted child I have brought myself to great despair because of my son’s consequences due to his addiction.
I learned over the years I have the choice (free will) to focus on that despair or turn from it and focus on all that I have to be thankful for which then leaves me with the power of hope.
With the power that hope gives me I am then ready to fight the good fight, to never give up and know that recovery is possible for anyone, even my son!
Pat
Dear Pat, Your last sentence is gold. Thanks for writing! I’ll hold your words close.
My son and I read Libby’s meditation together. His response: “Mom, this sounds like what happened at our Thanksgiving Dinner!” My response, “It was, son, this is about you and your cousin. I shared it with Libby.” After a few, somewhat, awkward moments, he hugged me and smiled. He thanked me for never losing hope.
The truth is, I DID lose hope. It was Libby who bombarded the heavens in prayer for him, along with my Alanon family and a handful of close friends who never allowed me to give in to this disease.
Today my son is good. Today, I am grateful.
Heartfelt thanks, Libby and to all of you,
Nanci
I am so grateful for all of you who give me hope–even in the sadness I feel with a son in active addiction. I have learned I can feel sad about my son without letting sadness swallow my soul and whole life — but there are times I do give in to despair and anger and lose hope. But I will keep the faith in the healing powers and continue the prayers. And love. Thank you all for the stories of recovery, the sharing of truths, the love. My Love and prayers to all.
Dear Nanci,
I am elated that your son is doing well! Thank you for sharing your Thanksgiving story, and thank you Libby, for sharing it with all of us!
Love,
Barbara
Dear all,
Your comments are inspiring. It’s easy to lose hope, to fall into despair and to stay there. The pain is suffocating. Here’s to continued hope and belief. It’s such a hard journey, but where there is life, there is hope. My love to you all.
Barbara, you are an inspiration to me (always have been). I sincerely thank you for support, wisdom, courage and strength. You and your family remain in my prayers.
With love,
Nanci