Jeff and I were talking, and he said, Addiction masquerades as ecstasy. Early on, drugs deliver good times and excitement, but ultimately, as addiction takes hold, they are the direct road to destruction and chaos. For the addict, the irony of this is confusing and extremely hard to reconcile.
My reaction: Dr. MacAfee once told me, “Even a kiss can disappoint. It’s never the same. That’s what is so addictive about drugs. The high is always the same, always there. It never disappoints” … until finally the addict realizes the same dependable high is destroying his life.
Today’s Promise to consider: Drugs and alcohol have a tenacious grasp on addicts. The fight to sobriety is one I don’t know, but I pray my loved one finds the strength and courage to rip off the mask from addiction’s face to see his falseness, his duplicity.
I was listening to your 3 Big Lessons Learned from Author of Stay Close and you were talking about treatments centers in Italy that were free and minimum three year commitment. There is such a place in the United States. It is called Comunita Cenacolo America. Go to http://www.comunitacenacolo.org. There are four houses in the United States – three in Florida and one in Alabama.
“…..until finally the addict realizes the same dependable high is destroying his life.” This is the problem, the addicted child does not have the ability to rationalize the reality of their addiction. As Libby mentioned in her teleconference, the addicted child must reach a point where they have to decide to accept life over death.
What is that point? It is different for everyone and no one can predict what consequence and/or situtaion will be “the one” that ignites long term recovery.
Just my personal opinion.
The teleconference was priceless.
Libby, you are amazing.
You were asked some very difficult questions and your responses were just perfect, in my opinion.
About two years ago I came across your book “Stay Close” at the library and I am glad I did because it was a blessing. I was reminded that a mother’s love is unconditional, and the strength to love a difficult child comes from the Holy Spirit.
My son had both bipolar disease and a drug addiction to opiates, he was a binge user of both alcohol and opiates of all types including heroin. Because of your book, Libby, I discovered I could love and accept my son when his behavior was difficult, dangerous, or disappointing. (Daniel was never violent, but he was reckless, and very impulsive.) Of course I was sad he had two awful diseases, and I grieved the loss of my precious son who was funny and lovable, a free spirit.
Prior to reading your book I had a low level of chronic resentment toward Daniel, which I am sure he felt as disapproval. Seeing my son so broken down in jail before attending rehab softened my heart and I never allowed my heart to harden again. I learned to say no, without excessive anger or a negative attitude. I am so thankful I learned how to express my love to Daniel in a way that freed me of harsh, condemning, judgmental feelings and attitudes.
Last month on 08/17/2013 my son died at age 28. He was found alone in the back seat of his car. It appeared as if he just feel asleep. He was out of town visiting someone he met on the internet. Foul play was ruled out; we strongly suspect an accidental drug overdose but the toxicology report is pending. Before he left town the day before he died he gave me a big bear hug that lifted me off the ground and we exchanged a loving good-bye. For this I am eternally grateful.
That last big bear hug you gave me
Lifted my toes up off the ground
You said, Goodbye, and I didn’t see
That heaven you were bound.
Our time together so short and yet so long
From the moment I held you in my arms
And murmured your first childhood song
And all would gather and praise your charms.
And at first I thought my baby boy is gone
Till I felt my heart fill with peace and love
And the distance between us now is not so long
Though we grieve, while your spirit soars above.
And so my Daniel son
All I have to say to you
Is thank-you for teaching me to love
The kind that is completely true.
Sincerely,
Mary Beth R.
Hello Libby. So sorry I missed the teleconference this week. Mother in law in the hospital
I tried to hear the recording but cannot seem to figure it out. Any clues? Must I still register?
Thanks
Yes we never know what will make them want life over drugs and death. We also don’t know what it finally takes for us to say enough..I’m not doing this chaos anymore. It’s like the veil finally gets lifted from our eyes and we see how nuts our lives have become and then we want recovery too.
Jane
Thank U Wow I Hate The Addiction So Much I Have Stayed Very Close.Today My Son Has Recovery,I Have 10Yrs Alanon.God Is good
Dear Joan,
You are so right! Thanks for adding the information here. I know Comunità Cenacolo well and, several years ago, attended the Festival of Life in Saluzzo. Sister Elvira is a saint. Miracles happen there. God bless you.
L
Dear Pat,
Thanks for your message and support. You are right that the addict’s ‘bottom’ is “different for everyone and no one can predict what consequence and/or situtaion will be “the one” that ignites long term recovery.”
The questions were difficult and reflected the mass amount of pain out there. So devastating.
Dear Jane, Yes! We need to stay true to our own recovery. How did we/do we live in such chaos.
Dear Kathleen, Thanks for joining us. Welcome!
Dear Mary Beth,
My eyes are filled with tears as I read your pain. Daniel is gone, but he lives forever in your heart and your words:
That last big bear hug you gave me
Lifted my toes up off the ground
You said, Goodbye, and I didn’t see
That heaven you were bound.
We join you in prayer, love and strength. You are not alone.
With love and respect,
L
Dear MaryBeth
I am so sorry for your loss of Daniel. Here we can all understand your grief and loss. Although I have not lost my son, I have in many respects, and I came close during his overdose. Your posting is just what I neded to hear tonight so I thank you for sharing with us, thank you
jane
dear all,
I’m Italian so my english is not perfect, it’s for this reason that I didn’t write anything on this blog although all of your sharing is comforting to read. thanks!!!
But this time I want share a thought of a philosopher called Daisaku Ikeda wich could be interesting for you as it was for me. Unfortunately I don’t have the english translation but maybe “google” could help!!!
“fare tutto quello che posso è normale, fare al di là delle capacità è una sfida. Dove finiscono le mie capacità comincia la mia fede. è una forte fede: vede l’invisibile, crede l’incredibile e realizza l’impossibile”.
So I want only say to you all that I belive that God is with everyone who fight addiction, everyone who has a relative with this problem, everyone who every moment lives a battle and sometimes loose…we are not alone during this war!!!
sorry for my english and many thanks to you all to be here and make all this more tolerable!!!
From Rome with love
Ilaria
Dear MaryBeth,
I lost my son and grandson to heroin overdoses. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Practice positive thinking and always remember the good times. Never dwell on the bad. This blog has helped me cope with my loss. The people who come here are remarkable. They are compassionate, understanding, honest and sincere.
I hope we will here from you again.
Please accept my sincere sympathy for the loss of your son. He is with the angels of God and he will never feel the urge to binge again.
My utmost respect,
Barbara
Carissima Ilaria,
Thank you for writing to us! I know how difficult it is to write in another language, especially when mother-tongue readers are your audience. BRAVA!! Thank you for your faith, for staying close and for sharing your love of family with us.
A translation of the excerpt could read, “I can do everything that is normal, to my capacity and meet every challenge. Where my skills end, my faith begins: a strong faith that sees the invisible, believes the incredible and realizes the impossible. ”
Un abbraccio forte.
L