WHEN THE SADNESS IS IMPOSSIBLE TO HIDE

Photo Credit: Davood Madadpoor

A mom wrote to me: Sometimes I feel like I am just too hard to be around because the sadness is impossible to hide.

My reflection: When addiction takes over our lives, our sadness can be overwhelming. When Jeff was in active addiction, my family didn’t know whether to ask about him or not. My older brother once asked me, “How’s Jeff?” I looked at him with eyes swelled with tears. He nodded and said nothing more. 

Today’s Promise to consider: When I felt suffocated in sadness by addiction, fighting my feelings never helped. I had to accept my deep sense of loss and call it by name. I found comfort by attending Al-Anon meetings. I wrote daily, exercised, and prayed. And I also had to accept that there were times I could just be sad.

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11 Comments on "WHEN THE SADNESS IS IMPOSSIBLE TO HIDE"

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Maureen
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Libby, thank you for naming the nameless sense of loss that those of us whose lives have been touched by addiction have come to know on a daily basis. I have been on this journey now for over a decade, and your words, and your clarity, continue to shine a light in some very dark places. I recently read about “compassion exhaustion” which afflicts professional caregivers; it affects those of us who love members of our family and friends afflicted by addiction as well. I didn’t realize that my state of exhaustion was leading to a chronic sense of sadness… Read more »
Pat Nichols
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Thanks for your post Maureen.

Pat Nichols
Guest

I agree Libby, being around other parents of addicted children gave me the strength, hope and understanding I needed to continue to keep me grounded and focused on my own recovery while maintaining appropriate boundaries.

barbara
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Perfect timing for this post as I struggled today. It took me most of the day to confront how and why I was feeling at loose ends. Sometimes the sadness and loss needs to be front and center. Thank-you!

Nanci
Guest

Thank you, Libby and others for all of your comments. The profound sadness I felt, for so many years, was crippling. I couldn’t name it ‘out loud’ because I didn’t feel safe around most people. Thank you for breaking the silence and providing the forum to share with one another.
Love, Nanci

Gail Cook
Guest

I am the same way. No matter where i am. If if comes up or im at the store talking to someone ill say yeah buying this or that for my son who is on heroin. And i always tear up and so many people are touched by addiction. Its a sad place to be in life. But i didnt cause it. Cant change it or cure it. I pray one day real soon he realizes there more to life.