An Italian friend, whose brother is in recovery, wrote to me, Some days ago I read a Raymond Carver poem:
And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.
I hope that all our suffering with addiction, for our family and for my brother, will let him know how much we love him and will push him to love himself – just as he is, without masks and without hating his fragilities and his fears. I hope he will be comforted by our love.
My reflection: What a beautiful gift this young woman wants to give to her brother, the gift of feeling beloved. We, who love those struggling with addiction, have the opportunity to comfort them and provide a safe emotional space in a world that often shames and punishes them.
Today’s Promise to consider: It is undeniable that addiction causes pain and suffering to all of us, both the addict and those of us who love them. From across the ocean, in a message from a friend in Italy, I am reminded today to pray that my loved one feels beloved and that, one day, he will love himself even with his fragilities and fears.
One of the most beautiful experiences in the life of an addicted child is when they find recovery and become embraced with the love of family and friends. This strengthens their recovery and fuels their passion to rebuild their life. The addicted child who is active in his/her disease has lost the ability to “feel.” Addiction has taken that emotion away and it rests in hibernation. However, addiction does not have the power to block it out completely. We, as parents, learn how to continue to fill up our addicted child with love and compassion without violating our boundaries. We, through our own recovery, learn how to use the information our counselor provides and we reach out to our sponsor and others in our support group during the darkest of times. We know we can turn to our God for strength and courage. This is where we find hope to continue to fight the good fight. Perseverance is the key to our peace and serenity during these battles. Let us continue to pray for one another and for our addicted children. We are all “one” in this battle.