I wrote this in Stay Close: During the Christmas of 2006, when neither son came home for our large Italian family gatherings, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins and friends didn’t know what to do. My brothers didn’t know what to say. They didn’t even know whether to invite me to the festivities. The cousins were confused; could they ask about Jeff or would it be kinder to leave him out of the conversation?
My reflection: I remember well that Christmas Eve Mass when my older brother turned gently toward me and said, “Not sure I should ask, but how is Jeff?” I looked at him as tears welled in my eyes. He just nodded as we left the question float in the air.
Today’s Promise to consider: During the holidays, let us remember that addiction can severely isolate us. We might feel ashamed and lonely because our lives are not as joyful as we wish they would be. I will avoid this treacherous place by being compassionate with myself and my family. I will find serenity in honesty and prayer.
Libby, This is the worst time of the year, because Johnny, Tina and I all feel even more sad over Michael’s addictions. We also have had silence and “looks,” while saying his name, from family members or sometimes even worse friends who constantly bring him up in the worst ways. We pray that he is safe and perhaps someday will realize that he is more than what he has allowed him self to become. Maybe next year? We always hope! Happy Holidays to you and yours! Lorey Gregor-Sturgill
Thank you Libby. Your messages give me hope.
Tears fill my eyes just thinking about Xmas…… My son seems to be doing well after many relapses and recent jail time for thefts from family…..it hurts that no one has asked about him or supports him in his recovery ….just me
Serenity in honesty, yes, that is what sets us free. Where does this honesty come from? For me it was allowing God to take over. I asked for HIs forgiveness in getting in His way and asked Him to point me in a new direction. He sent me to Families Anonymous and an alcohol drug counselor. From here my education began and after working the steps and dedicating myself to my own recovery I eventually was released from the hold addiction had on me. It was very difficult to change who I had become. Addiction, over the years, had molded me into someone unrecognizable. I stepped out of my son’s way and after twenty-two years he became clean and sober. He renewed his faith in God and completed drug court. He is a miracle from God. There is hope for everyone. Never give up, just get out of the way, work on yourself and trust God. Merry Christmas and prayers for all our children and their families.
My son went to rehab last Sunday. This will be his 3rd inpatient rehab in 2 years. I am of course saddened that my son has this awful disease. This year my prayers have been answered. My son is alive and I have not had to bury him. He was on a terrible downward spiral and I feared he would not be alive this Christmas. So many times, I wish I could just go back in time to more innocent times but that is just wishful thinking. I want to thank you for your support and encouraging words. My son will not be with us this Christmas, but I will hope and pray that this time , he gets it! I will always “stay close”.
Merry Christmas to you and your family
Miracles happen and some times we do not even know what miracle has taken place. This is a season of miracles. This Christmas my son is not in jail, not on the street, not missing, not using. He has a home and is safe and sober. We never forget where we have been and never EVER take tomorrow for granted. It is a tightrope walk at times for all of us. My deep deep prayers for all who have loved ones in active addiction. Keep praying for God to find them and keep sending legions of angels to find them. Never give up hope. Libby and Jeff and Jeremy taught me that. I am ever grateful. I also discovered the only life I could ever save was my own. Peace.
Thank you for this – I lost my son to addiction 8 years ago at the age of 24–my heart breaks every Christmas because I miss him more now than ever. No one asks but I’m careful to be kind to myself and share if anyone asks. Addiction ends badly for some….thank my Higher Power for His grace.
I am afraid that he has relapsed. My son…my son.
We share boys and Rosecranse… But many do.
Hope spring eternal. This is a safe landing place to share both orrow and hope. Thank you all. One day at a time.
He called today. He is in recovery in Riverside CA. He is employed.
I did not hear from him for 4 weeks plus and a I sent a a nice Christmas gift. Please remind me how to stay close when I want to die…
Should I look elsewhere?