A mother wrote to me: My son walked out of his fourth rehab, and in November of last year my husband kicked him out of our house, again. I couldn’t help but mourn. I lay on my bed and didn’t move for two days. He’s presently in an outpatient methadone program. His addiction has claimed him for five years. Methadone is not the permanent answer for my son, but he is doing better. His drug addiction has had such a big impact on our lives. I want to see him whole and clean and well again. His bruises on his arms are fading.

My reflection: Addiction affects all of us. Parents argue, siblings are confused and angry, and the addict is in his own world, chasing his next fix. Mothers cry until we have no tears left, and fathers watch helplessly, powerless to protect their families in the face of addiction. The entire family is immersed in sadness and trauma.

Today’s Promise to consider: Addiction thrives on chaos and pain. Not only does the immediate family suffer, but addiction spirals out to affect extended family, coaches, teachers, friends, priests and ministers. Especially now, during these troubling times, let us not be defeated. As families, we are powerless to stop addiction, but we can remain faithful and compassionate, while maintaining boundaries to keep our family safe. Let us stay close to our support groups. Let us keep faith and hope alive.


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3 years ago

My heart goes out to this mother, and all mothers. When my son’s addiction hit our
family, I was immobile. I cried myself to sleep (that rarely came), for months and on and off for years. The panic almost made me not want to even go on. I was inconsolable. A big part was in trying to accept it. He had (I thought) everything going for him. How did this happen? What did I do wrong? I searched my heart and soul blaming myself. My husband did the same, and suffered in his own horrible ways. My daughter suffered as well. This suddenly wasn’t the family it had always been. Acceptance was a huge mountain for me to climb. He is sober for 7 months now, but I’m afraid to let my guard down. Through al anon, support of family and friends, and lots of prayer, I am 75% better at accepting this. I love him so much it hurts. My fear that has paralyzed me over the years, I think is slowly being replaced by faith: faith in God, faith in myself, and faith in my son. I am in awe of him. He’s fighting the fight. His personality is back. We laugh and talk. A blessing beyond belief, especially since I was trying to prepare myself for so long, of him dying. Keep the faith, know that you’re not alone, and keep hope in your heart. A mother’s love can’t even be put into words. Thank you, Libby, for this safe place to share.

3 years ago
Reply to  Laurie

Thank you so much for sharing.

Pat Nichols
3 years ago

Well said Libby!

3 years ago

Yes. Every word Libby, so wise, compassionate, so true. Thank you.

Tonight I pray for every crying mother
For every sister and brother
Who lost a sister or brother
For ever father
Who lost a son or daughter
For every uncle, aunt, friend
Who had to learn
The hard way
Death is often
Addiction’s end.
I pray for every struggling soul
In the grips of this disease
For all of us
to never give up hope
keep praying
to a loving GOD
show us the way
to keep close, keep loving
keep hoping
Let us see
there is always hope
for healing
that light appears
in the
deepest darkest
let hope
lead us
may we
never give up
for it is a fight
to keep hope alive
but hoping on
is the only way
we who love
our struggling ones
survive .

Trish Costa
Trish Costa
3 years ago
Reply to  libbycataldi

My daughter has been an active addict for the past 4 years. She’s attended (physically) many different IOP and therapy sessions. This time she made the arrangements herself and went into detox for 7 days then 3 days IOP at a residential facility and then left. Relapsed now completed another 7 days detox and is saying she wants to come home. My husband and I said no, not until she completes at the very least a 30-day inpatient program. She immediately got angry I’ll leave out her harsh words. I feel so afraid to let any walls down and be hopeful because I’ve been so broken and feel I was starting to feel stronger and now I’m back to just wanting to go home and get in bed.