Lynn Lyons, LICSW, offered her thoughts about how important it is for us to create moments of joy for our children, especially when we are making our way through difficulties.
Her mother sent her a 15-second video of her 79-year-old father vacuuming while blasting his favorite 50’s music. While she watched her father dance and sing, she said, “It made me have this sense that things will be OK.” She went on to say that our children need to see us laugh, smile, sing, or do anything that shows some happiness. These moments can help our family members feel more secure during the crises of addiction.
My reflection: When my son was using and on the streets, the chaos, worry, and fear affected every part of my life. For example, when my sons were little, we used to dance around the kitchen as I cooked and they helped. When addiction entered our lives, the dancing stopped.
Today’s Promise to consider: This day is all we have, and we’re not entitled to tomorrow or the day after. Yet, we often allow ourselves to become so embroiled with the fear of what might happen in the future, that we forget to create joy today. We forget about self-compassion and self-care. We owe it to our other children, to our husbands or wives, to throw off the shackles of addiction – if even for a moment. Today, let us take a minute or two to smile, dance, sing, or skip. Let us show our family that addiction doesn’t rule our lives.
This is an important practice. I was a “bear,” just angry over the alcoholism in my father and, later, my brother. My poor mother! She rarely, if ever, saw me smile. She’s gone now and I have so many regrets. She was affected, too. I may have been her only hope. Never stop smiling, never stop spreading joy as best you can despite the addiction. God bless.
Dearest Diane, I understand. My mother and I had a rocky relationship. Now that she’s passed, I, too, have regrets. I join you in trying to rise above the distress and chaos to find (and spread) joy. xoxo