ECHOES OF PAIN

Jeff and his childhood friend Bryan

A dad, who has known my family for years, wrote to me: As I have read the many meditations, I hear again and again the echoing pain of separation, loss, parting, losing someone to addiction while trying so hard to hold on. Sometimes it is letting go of the old; sometimes it is being willing to step back and release in order to move forward.

The following Dickinson poem keeps coming to mind, especially the last idea that such loss is as close as we get to heaven and is surely all that we ever need to endure of hell.

 

PARTING        

 

My life closed twice before its close;

        It yet remains to see

If Immortality unveil

        A third event to me,

So huge, so hopeless to conceive,

       As these that twice befell.

Parting is all we know of heaven,

       And all we need of hell. 

Today’s Promise to Consider: I have friends who understand the pain of living with addiction even though they’ve never experienced the suffering first hand. I will open my heart to those who love me and my family and who want to support me. Just because they haven’t walked in my shoes doesn’t mean they can’t understand.

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Anonymous
Anonymous
10 years ago

Yes, all of it. Thanks for posting.

Chrissy Huether
Chrissy Huether
10 years ago

My daughters addiction has affected many people. Some understand the disease, others do not. Its my “job” to teach people, to explain, to educate. Sometimes they are open to it,, others see it as “Making Excuses for Bad Behavior” – I pray for them – and for me to continue to receive the strengh to make others aware of this horrible demon that takes the lives of our loved ones…. One Day at a Time.

Barbara
Barbara
10 years ago

Dear Chrissy, I really like your comments. Especially, “making excuses for bad behavior”. How I remember the people who didn’t (and still don’t) understand the demon of addiction. I will pray for all of those who can’t open their minds.

Dear Libby, thank you for posting the poem. The last part also hit home with me. So true, isn’t it?

With love and respect,
Barbara

Jane
Jane
10 years ago

Good evening my friends of Thursday night
Chrissy and Barbara I can relate to your thoughts.
God gave us these children because we had the ability to weather the horrible storm of this disease. I know exactly what you mean about those who think we are making excuses for bad behavior. Addiction has stolen so much of who my son was. It has changed him in so many ways. It progresses within and I can see it. To those who do not understand and just want to believe it is bad behavior only, I say be thankful that God did not give you this burden. But he gave it to us for reasons we do not know. I pray for strength for all of you, my friends. We understand the troubles of eachother and therefore we can be a source of strength that each of us needs
Be well
Jane

Libby
Libby
10 years ago

Dear Chrissy,

You are so right – there are some people who will never understand. My problem was that there were people close to me who wanted to help and who wanted to understand, bu. I was so wounded to see their kindnesses. I closed down, isolated myself and kept the silence. Maybe during active addiction, it’s impossible to discern the kind people from the others, the ones who try to understand from the people who don’t, but I don’t know. I know I couldn’t do it. This dad who wrote to me and sent the poem watched from the distance during Jeff’s many years of sickness and he helped quietly, reaching out a giant hand when possible. He’s still reaching out in his quiet way. He’s a great dad to three girls and a wonderful husband to a wonderful wife. He’s wisdom and compassion touched me.

Love you and D!

L

Libby
Libby
10 years ago

Dear Barbara,

Yes, the last two lines hit home with me, too, especially the last line. Addiction is all we really need to know of hell. Living with addiction is a living hell, but you know this in a deeper way than I.

With love and respect to you. Thanks for staying close,

L

Libby
Libby
10 years ago

Dear Jane,

How true! For all those people who scoff and judge our families and our children and who deem addiction as ‘bad behavior,’ I pray that they never have to face it. But sometime during life, I think most of us have to face something over which we have no control. We (those of us here) have each other. That is a bit of heaven. Love to you all!

L