FALLEN LOVED ONES

photo 2_2I buried my mother on December 28. She lived a long and good life, and she was ready. Days later, my friend’s son died from the disease of addiction. Two deaths, but two very different circumstances. When I went to the funeral home to support my friend, we embraced while she wept from a place that ripped open my heart and tore at my soul. She sobbed, saying over and over again, “I didn’t know. Why didn’t I know? Why couldn’t I have done something?”

My tears were the answer. No words to comfort her, no truth that could quench the enormity of her son’s tragic death. It is every parent’s greatest fear that her addicted child could die. The seriousness of drug addiction is often too horrifying to look at. My mother’s death brought grief to my heart, and my friend’s son’s death brought despair to my soul.

Today, I will honor the lives lost to addiction. I won’t sweep them under the rug and I won’t be silent. I will acknowledge the severity of this disease – it is a battle of life and death. My sons and I will continue our fight against addiction. We stand next to the parents and their fallen loved ones. We ask God to ease their pain.

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Pat Nichols
Pat Nichols
9 years ago

Amen Libby!

This is a very good reminder and encouragement to keep fighting the good fight.

There are millions in recovery today because of the faith and support of those that loved them.

There is hope.

In prayer for all who suffer.

Hope
Hope
9 years ago

I am not Catholic but I love Saint Francis.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace…..
Where there is hatred, let me sow love…. and on it goes – I am sure you know it.

Where there is despair,hope.

You give that to all of us, Libby.

I do live in that fear – many of us do— and too too many have suffered this great tragedy– of losing a child this way. It is beyond cruel. The if only’s are such torment. This mother “not knowing” is an even harder blow -the shock. The utter shock. The shock of death and the shock of finding out about addiction. I will pray pray pray for her.

I hope she comes here – so she feels the prayers and support and how far and deep and comforting the reach of souls who are joined by faith that we can go on even when the nightmare becomes real. Barbara is our living example of that.

O LIBBY– where there is despair, yes, hope. We must keep on keeping on.

Jane
Jane
9 years ago

Hello hope, Libby, and Pat and everyone else reading tonight. The pain of losing a child to a senseless tragic event like at Newtown CT. The pain of losing a child to addiction. The pain of losing a child to cancer. It is all tragic. Parents always wonder what they could have done differently, if only…we may have been in remiss, something we missed, somehow failed to protect or failed to teach properly. The nature of being a parent is that we were the responsible ones. We suffer in re hashing every moment of their childhood looking for clues. I know I did for many years until I really internalized the 3 C’s.

I agree that Barbara is a role model for us all. Your friend needs Barbara’s experience strength and hope right now
Libby I like Hope hope she comes to this forum to be bathed in our thoughts which comfort the weary parents of addicts. We support each other in a way no one else can. God bless all of you, and may You all have serenity
Jane

Robin
Robin
9 years ago

Every single day I wake up and pray for the day. Pray for my son. Pray his strength gets him through another day. How very sad for a parent to lose a child. I think as a parent of an addict we spend a lot of time on our knees praying our loved one will fight the good fight. We can never give up hope – NEVER! I pray for your friend, I pray for my son, all the parents of addicts that our strength and beliefs will carry us through another day. God Bless!

Libby Cataldi
Libby Cataldi
9 years ago

Life is fragile and the consequences of addiction are suffocating, too difficult to look at and enormously painful. We hold each other’s hands in love and comfort. I pray for all of our children. Love you all. Love to Barbara.

Barbara
Barbara
9 years ago

Dear Libby,

I feel so sad for your friend. I know how awful it is to lose your child, to something so enormous, there are no words.

We all, as parents, wonder if could have done something different, etc. We blame ourselves and beat ourselves up.

Until Libby created this forum, I was a lost soul. As Jane said, we comfort each other like no one else can.

I thank God for all of you here. I thank God for you, Libby. I will hope and pray that your friend will visit here, for this is a place of loving and caring.

God Bless all of you.

Penny
Penny
9 years ago

After reading this I have that horrible sinking feeling in my stomach, then comes the fear that I might be the next parent who loses a child or sister who loses her brother. But after reading everyone’s comments, I have hope. Although my son is currently choosing a sober life, I know that things can change in the blink of an eye. If I let myself, I would live with that horrible dread all the time. I simply won’t allow myself to do that! Just for today he is sober, happy and relatively healthy and as a mother I am joyful. I feel so much pain for those who have lost children and loved ones to this dreaded disease. I am watching my brother die a slow death at the hands of this disease and I can truly say I HATE THIS DISEASE! Thank God for all of you and for Libby, may God bless you all.

Libby Cataldi
Libby Cataldi
9 years ago

Our dearest Barbara,

I don’t know your pain, but I respect and admire you for going on, helping others and trusting us. If I could change the world, your world or mine, I would. I am powerless to change things, but I am not powerless to say that we love you and thank you, more than you know.

God bless us our children and us.