A mother wrote an email message to me. This is part of it: I struggle with the concept of “family.” When I grew up, holidays centered around family get-togethers. Today, my shattered family does not resemble anything I ever dreamed possible. Holiday times center around my other children, with my addicted son on the fringe. Largely he seems OK with this, but for me as the “Mom” I always feel so torn and split…never whole.
My reflections of the passage: I continue to struggle with the concept of family. With both a divorce and addiction as part of our history, I feared that my children would never feel the comfort of an intact family. Just like the mother above, our holidays have taken on new shapes over the years.
I’m not sure any family is perfect and I know ours certainly is not. That doesn’t stop me from being committed to staying close to my sons and offering my security and presence. One day at a time, we’re learning to accept each other with our faults, forgive past hurts and celebrate our gifts.
Today’s promise to consider: Family systems evolve and change. I’ll hold on to the belief that my family will find a better place, a stronger place, because we survived life’s trials together – and will survive more of them in the future. It is in love and acceptance of each other that we find strength and solidarity.