This is part of a journal entry that I wrote four years ago: My heart aches for my second son. I wish I could have been stronger for him so that he could have shared with me his pain and confusion during the years of Jeff’s active addiction. Instead, I badgered Jeremy with questions about Jeff’s actions and drug use – so wrong. Jeremy needs to be able to trust that I am here for him.
My personal reflection on the passage above, offering my thoughts today: While I was stuck in the place of worry for my addicted son, I somehow lost the power to focus my energy on my younger son. My love for him never wavered and my heart was always with him. The problem was that my energy was sucked down with worry and concern. I felt exhausted and splintered into pieces. Jeremy needed support through the trauma.
Today’s promise to consider, for all of us who love addicts: I will be present for my non-addicted child. He deserves my best. I will listen to him today: I will listen to his concerns, hopes and joys. I will let him know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, how important he is to me and how much he is loved.297