FINDING OUR VOICES

Our beloved Dr. MacAfee, my son’s addiction therapist, told me: Silencing your feelings, your most potent inner instincts, will leave you living in fear as you wait for the other shoe to drop. Speak your truths for your benefit and the benefit of your son.

My reflection: When my son was in active addiction, I worried about every word that I said to him. Would he hear my love for him, or would we dissolve into confrontation? Would he walk out and be lost, once again. I shoved my thoughts into my belly until I got sick. I felt invisible, powerless, and angry.

Today’s Promise to consider: Today, I will speak up. I will stop the cycle of swallowing my voice and holding my feelings inside until they spew out in destructive ways. Walking on eggshells is no way to live. The dynamic of this unhealthy dance between my suffering loved one and me must stop. I am determined to keep myself balanced, respected, and heard.

 

 

 

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Claire DeCunzo
Claire DeCunzo
1 month ago

Heard in the rooms frequently “We are only a sick as our secrets” sharing the addiction in the rooms was very freeing for me…I no longer had to stuff it and not talk to anyone about it.

Laurie
Laurie
1 month ago

This morning when I opened my email and saw the Thursday meditation, something struck me. I realize that every Thursday when I see your words, Libby, I am immediately comforted- even before I start reading. It’s like an oasis…to stop, to breathe, and to feel wrapped in a warm blanket. A warm blanket of love and understanding and of knowing I’m not alone. I appreciate this so much, and today’s message resonates, as they all do. Thank you, Libby. You are truly a generous soul for sharing your gifts of hope and love.

joy
joy
1 month ago
Reply to  Laurie

Amen. Yes.

Trish Costa
Trish Costa
1 month ago

Every Thursday you have been spot on to how I’m feeling. Walking on eggshells afraid to cause an argument etc. I’ve been trying to talk to my AD with love and concern instead of anger and hurt.

Julanda Vogt
Julanda Vogt
1 month ago

I will never leave my son, he is in rehab and I miss him so much.Lord Jesus took him

joy
joy
1 month ago

In order to hear my own true voice means I have to stop. Stop doing and listen. To the silence. It can be so painful when we feel the truth of what we are living. So very hard to get through sometimes. Yet it is worth it, in the end, to know we are not running away. That is a marathon we will never finish. Seems I have had to learn that lesson more than once. Yet, when we get to that place we can speak from the broken open heart, there is relief for everyone. And there, waiting, will always be the words we need to say. I remember so well when I stopped trying to fix /heal.help my son with every conversation we had and when I started to be present to our reality and speak from love not fear or anger or desire to change. I never got it perfect, but it changed everything. And that change happened when I knew there was another mother out there who felt like I did, who knew the impossible dance and nightmare of addiction of a loved one and who shared her truth. Her name is Libby. God bless you and all who are here in pain and suffering. This is a soul journey for all of us. When I stop doing and just be… I hear my own true voice and that is the greatest gift. We learn to live in the truth no matter how hard it is. We share. We hope on.

Joy
Joy
1 month ago
Reply to  libbycataldi

Safe against judgment. O Libby I think of how the world might be in a world we all felt safe against judgment. Takes a long time to find our safe places but you have created one … what you do hugs us in to a space we feel heard understood and safe against judgement including our own against ourselves.