A mom and grandmother wrote to me: When people at work talk about their kids and grandkids I feel myself die inside and hope they don’t ask me about mine because I feel such sadness, shame and embarrassment. I know my husband and I can’t let our son’s choices dictate our happiness, but I am finding it so hard to carry on with everyday life when I’m screaming inside with sadness and worry. Christmas is supposed to be a joyous time but I’m left wondering if my son is sleeping somewhere warm and if he’s safe. I feel despair.
My personal reaction: There are four words often used to describe addiction: Shame, Secrets, Stigma and Silence. I remember well praying that no one would ask me about Jeff because I didn’t know what to say. I remember lying, “He’s fine. He’s working in Florida.” I remember trying to feel happiness, but finding it impossible. During the Christmas season, it all felt heavier.
Today’s Promise to consider: Many of us struggle with problems and although Christmas is supposed to be a joyous time, it doesn’t always feel like it. For today, I accept that life can be difficult and I pray that tomorrow will be better. For today, I am grateful for what I have. For today, my spirit will feel serenity.