tm_1391-1A mom wrote to me: During the holidays, everything seems worse. My son is a smart 22-year-old, quiet and sensitive drug-addicted man. I’m clawing out of my skin. He lies and steals. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Everybody tells me to kick him out, but how can I do that when he has nowhere to go. How guilty would I feel if he died on the street?  Yet, when he continues to do drugs in our house with no regard for us, I can’t stand him.

My reflection: I remember being tormented by the continuing question, “What do I do now?” My son’s drug-addicted behavior in my home was intolerable, but the thought of kicking him out seemed impossible. During the holidays, decisions took on a new dimension: What do I do when family comes to visit? What do I say when people ask about him? How do I respond when people wish me Happy Holidays?

Today’s Promise to consider: Addiction is excruciating at every time of the year, but for me the holidays made everything worse. All the good cheer and sparkling lights were fine for others, but I was eager for the season to pass. During these times, it is imperative that I prioritize my emotional health by attending Al-Anon meetings, leaning on my support group and putting faith in my Higher Power.


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Pat Nichols
7 years ago

All great suggestions for dealing with our addicted children during the holidays. However, Would you really want temporary emotional health or a life “FREE” from the hold that addiction has on you. The first step is developing a personal and trusting relationship with your God. The next step is finding a sponsor and working a recovery program as it was intended to be worked. Our recovery isn’t about simply attending meetings etc. but a life style change, a permanent transition into our recovery program. A commitment of recovery for life! Just my personal opinion, of course.

7 years ago

Its funny, my daughter has been clean for about 14 months now but as the holidays grow near I find I am anxious. Not about all the people coming for dinner, not about all the preparations I need to do, but about my daughter. The old dreams of her relapse are creeping in again denying my sleep. If she doesn’t respond to my text I fear the worst, I find I am looking at her again and searching for the signs.
I have no reason to be doing this so I can only assume the chaos of the season and past experience are dredging up old fears. Does this ever end?