HOPE IS FRAGILE; FEAR IS POWERFUL

A mother wrote to me: I’m giving up on prayer, I’m afraid. Recovery was going well, I thought. My son was making meetings, new job he likes, nice girlfriend. I was beginning to trust and hope. In the last week, money taken from my purse, relapse, violation of probation. Now it’s back to court and maybe prison this time. I can’t do this again.

My reflection: Fear is powerful. There were many times when my son was in active addiction that I, too, was in danger of giving up hope. Sometimes it felt easier to abandon hope and faith than to risk them being crushed, again.

Today’s Promise to consider: If we lose faith and hope, all is lost. We need to stay close to our children, while allowing them to fight their own battles. I will never give up hope that my child finds her way back home.

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Kelly Spicer
Kelly Spicer
4 years ago

When you have a child that is in active addiction and they are not willing to help themselves. The only thing you can do as a parent is love them right where they are. That does not mean to enable them. It means they understand you will be there when they are ready for help, and they know you believe they have the courage inside of themselves to change their life. Then just let go. Send them light, love, and healing. Pray, or whatever it is that keeps your hope’s and faith alive. There are addicts that have changed their lives after 20+ years of addiction. There is always hope.

Pat Nichols
4 years ago

Kelly’s post is wise. However, how do you gain the strength to “love them right where they are?” We have to experience the consequences of our own enabling actions. These consequences eventually turn into excruciating emotional pain. It is this level of pain that drives us to our knees and we cry out for help. The God of our understanding answers our plea and we begin to gain the strength to seek a different path. We begin to grieve the loss of the child of our dreams and our denial slowly fades as we educate ourselves fully on the disease of addiction. We then seek help from a experienced alcohol/drug counselor who will suggest a Twelve Step program and encourage us to find a sponsor who will in turn work us through the steps. It is these steps guided by the strength of our God that creates the change we are seeking and we find our own peace and serenity which leads to the ability to “love them right where they are.” May God have mercy on us all!

Donna Bova
Donna Bova
4 years ago

Thank you Libby for your incredible words this journey of ours is a journey none of us asked for but through it we grow and learn so very much! My prayer has changed for my son that has been in active addiction for many years instead of trying to tell God what to do it’s Thy will be done. Some days are much harder than others. I love him with all my heart but can’t do it for him if I could of I would of done it years ago! Sending you all love and prayers