A mother wrote an email message to me. This is part of it: My son is an addict and my husband and I barely functioned for almost three years. He earned a college degree, had a good job and a lovely wife – all gone. He went to rehab and spent one year in a halfway house. Today he has regained his life: a great job, a loving girlfriend and he just announced his engagement. Even though things seem good, I worry. I know that I should have a positive outlook, but the past haunts me. How do I ever begin to trust and live without fear?
My personal reflection of the passage offering my thoughts today: I also struggled with this paradox of how to trust again. I wanted to have faith and to give Jeff the dignity of his own walk with his Higher Power, but I still had a catch in my heart as I remembered all that we had been through.
Dr. MacAfee clarified this for me, “It’s OK. You’ve been vigilant a long time. It’s a pattern and it might never change. It’s normal. You’re a parent. Be patient with yourself.”
I wasted many years living in the past and fearing the future. I wasted valuable time thinking about what had happened and what could happen. Today I live in a space of gratitude that my son is good and I pray for tomorrow.
Today’s Promise to consider: I will have compassion for my son and I will have compassion for myself. I’ll be patient while I learn to release my loved one – to himself and his God. Today I will trust; I will live without fear.
Another excellent meditation, Libby! Worry comes natural to us parents anyway, let alone when we have a child in, or recovering from, addiction. Someone reminded me one day that I needed to fully trust God and turn my son over to Him, so that I could get on with the life that God intended for me to have and to be the woman God created me to be. Worry was keeping me from both of these… Trust and live without fear- yes!! Thank you for your blog, Libby- much love!
I totally agree with Thursday’s meditation.
That is so true. Back in the mid 80’s & 90’s I had a bad reputation for trying to divert a certain teacher’s attention away from work. I apologize to anyone I may have hurt in the process. My goal was to encourage more “family” time. I gave up complaining shortly after the last child left the house.
It is impossible to be a slave to two masters and do justice to/for both. I love MA dearly; but when I realized that her drive for perfection was winning and that she had her heart set on the achieving the ultimate “education” goal there was nothing I could do but to support and make her life achieving that goal as easy as possible.
I applaud all that you are doing for your family and for all of humanity. MA & I would love to see you the next time you are back in the US. If you can arrange for your travels to stay in Fort Pierce FL for a night or two, we would love to have you stay with us.
JT
Dear Cheri,
You are right that worry keeps us from being the women/mothers we need to be – for ourselves and for those we love. Worry keeps us stuck in place – frozen. I like the AA saying, “I lived with one foot in the past and one foot in the future and I missed the present.”
Thanks for staying close. Love to you and prayers,
Libby
Dear JT,
Your message means the world to me and I thank you. You’ve always loved your family and were a ‘father bear’ to protect them. How could anyone (especially me) fault you for that? Love is precious and you love with all your heart.
Please give MA my love. If my life takes me to Fort Pierce, Florida, I’ll give a call. If you’re ever in Florence, Italy, you have a friend waiting for you all.
Love to the family,
L
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