A mother wrote an email message to me. This is part of it: My son is an addict and my husband and I barely functioned for almost three years. He earned a college degree, had a good job and a lovely wife – all gone. He went to rehab and spent one year in a halfway house. Today he has regained his life: a great job, a loving girlfriend and he just announced his engagement. Even though things seem good, I worry. I know that I should have a positive outlook, but the past haunts me. How do I ever begin to trust and live without fear?
My personal reflection of the passage offering my thoughts today: I also struggled with this paradox of how to trust again. I wanted to have faith and to give Jeff the dignity of his own walk with his Higher Power, but I still had a catch in my heart as I remembered all that we had been through.
Dr. MacAfee clarified this for me, “It’s OK. You’ve been vigilant a long time. It’s a pattern and it might never change. It’s normal. You’re a parent. Be patient with yourself.”
I wasted many years living in the past and fearing the future. I wasted valuable time thinking about what had happened and what could happen. Today I live in a space of gratitude that my son is good and I pray for tomorrow.
Today’s Promise to consider: I will have compassion for my son and I will have compassion for myself. I’ll be patient while I learn to release my loved one – to himself and his God. Today I will trust; I will live without fear.492