LIVING FORWARD

Pappa Jeremy and Iysabella Carmela

A friend wrote a poem about hope and this is part of it: Looking far behind, Will never help you find what’s true…Because you can’t relive it, Or somehow try to give it, Another shot. Although you’d like to rearrange it, The truth is you can’t change it; It’s done. Good-bye. Not what you’d hoped, Or wanted…So start revising hopes and dreams, To fit what is, not what it seems…You can leave the past behind you now, And say instead a quiet vow, To make your future wish come true, By being strong, By being you.

My personal reflection on the message of the poem offering my thoughts today: When our children or loved ones suffer, we suffer. I was filled with guilt and beat myself up with questions like, “What could I have done differently? How could I have saved my son and my family from this tragedy of addiction?”

The lines above seem true to me. I can’t change our past: It’s done – Good-bye. I admit that it isn’t what I had hoped for or prayed for. But as Jeff wrote, “Addiction has changed my life, made me a different person, and in many respects my life is richer because I was forced to confront myself or die. My past is my past and I can’t turn this path around or change the footsteps that follow me. Drugs were my life, but drugs left me empty.”

For my family and me, we must continue to look to the future and be strong. I must be strong for my sons. It’s the best gift I can give them. It’s is the best gift I can give myself.

Today’s Promise for us to consider: Today I won’t look back in the rearview mirror. I’ll give myself the permission to leave the past behind and to look forward with hope.

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James LaGuardia
James LaGuardia
11 years ago

The thing about family disasters is that you never have to wait long before the next one puts the previous one into perspective. ~Robert Brault,

Libby always forgive and maybe never look back but always remember. love you always

Libby Cataldi
Libby Cataldi
11 years ago

My dearest James,

How I love you, my cousin and Godson. You are correct: Always forgive, but remember lessons learned. Things are good today and we pray for tomorrow. I’m grateful for you – you’ve always stayed close and loved us through the toughest of times. Love you always. L

Cathy | Treatment Talk
11 years ago

Embracing my new life has been a long slow process. It takes some time to let go of the resentment and anger when life takes such a major detour from what you imagined. Having addiction in our lives has made me, and I believe my daughter a better person. I’ve had to look inside and dig deep to find the answers. The journey makes you strong. Thanks for sharing the poem.

Victoria
Victoria
11 years ago

What a beautiful poem Libby. So real, so true! Jeff’s words are like reading Joe’s words, I wish they could meet, maybe someday. I believe that the brush with death has made my son confront his reality. It also made me confront my own reality, …stay close and pray:)
Love, Victoria

Tisha
Tisha
11 years ago

The poem was touching and spoke with an undertone of a brilliant legacy. I miss you. I want you to know that I do not truly feel the “addiction” is about poor, or lack of parenting …..I think kids just get caught up in the frenzy, the bliss, the pure fun. It isn’t anything parents do wrong just maybe how difficult it is to communicate. I actually looked at you Libby as a Mom I wished was mine. I thought your sons were beautiful and lucky to have someone like you. And now it looks like( I think ) they are dads too? Truly….All things good come full circle. God bless you and your family.

Libby Cataldi
Libby Cataldi
11 years ago

Dear Cathy, Addiction is such a confounding disease. I feel as you do: Addiction has made us stronger. I wish this cup would have passed us by, but I’m grateful for all that we’ve learned. Love to you.

Libby Cataldi
Libby Cataldi
11 years ago

Dear Victoria, Stay close and pray. I’m with you. Love to you and Joe.

Libby Cataldi
Libby Cataldi
11 years ago

My dearest Tisha, Your words go right to my heart and I thank you for your love and compassion. Jeremy is a dad, and he and Aeriona had our first grandchild Iysa who just turned one year old on March 12! She is our one and only and makes every day brighter.
You are a wonderful mom and I love the pictures of your family. Your girls are beautiful, just like you. Stay close to them and know that you are tucked in my heart – forever and always. Love you, angel. Libby

Pat N.
11 years ago

Thanks for another great reminder.

Addiction changes everything and eveybody. I learned it was up to me to decide how these changes would influence my life – I continue to work on my recovery.

Libby
Libby
11 years ago

Dear Pat, I continue to work on my recovery, too. We mothers will hold hands and stay close. Love to you.