A mother wrote an email message to me. This is part of it: My husband and I called the police and had our son arrested because he was talking about suicide while in a drug-induced state. I think the hospital was a real eye-opener for him and I’d like to think that he was even relieved that we stepped in. Now he has to see someone for his problems whether he likes it or not. I hope he will continue with the process. Sometimes all you really have is hope. It is the one thing that I cling to dearly and refuse ever to give up.
My personal reflection on the passage above, offering my thoughts today: We try to help our children by forcing them into rehab, offering and paying for a recovery facility, calling the police or throwing them out of the house. But like a boxer in the ring, addiction comes out of the corner, gloves raised as it glares at us with mockery. We throw up our fists and we want to fight, but addiction fights dirty. It takes our children.
Jeff once told some young people in recovery, “Some of you will get it and stop, some of you will have to get as sick as I was and then you’ll stop, but some of you will never get it and you’ll die. And that’s just the fact of the matter. You have to choose. No one can do it for you.”
Today’s Promise to consider for all of us who love addicts: I know that I can’t fight this fight for him; he has to do it for himself. I’ll love him and encourage him to get help. I’ll pray that he puts on his own boxing gloves and fights.307
Thank you, Libby, for your reflection on recovery and hope. I am very tired of being in the ‘ring’ and almost ready to take the boxing gloves off. You said it well, ‘addiction fights dirty.’ Perhaps this is why it feels so bad. I will try to focus on detaching with love and as always, will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Thanks for your message, Nanci. Life with addiction is suffocating. Let’s keep our families in our prayers – we’ll join the fight together by staying close and allowing them to fight their battles. Love to you.
That is exactly how I feel Libby and I am tired. Our son told us the other day he made a call to a treatment center and has an appointment to be booked in tomorrow. I pray he keeps it because if he doesn’t I’m afraid of what will happen to him. What makes it worse is that he has another baby on the way. It’s bad enough to deal with your addict children but when the addict child has children it’s a whole new ballgame. I am trying real hard to stay close with detachment but with one granchild and another on the way it’s getting harder and harder. Thank you for these meditations and I hope you and your family are doing well.
I join you in prayer that your son goes into treatment. You are right that grandchildren add another huge sadness to it all. It becomes all the more complicated and heart breaking.
My love to you.