REGRET: THREE MOTHERS

image-678-rivers-and-tides_boundaryFollowing Dr. MacAfee’s entry on regrets last week, below are excerpts of three comments that highlight the remorse addiction causes in our lives. 

One mom wrote: I had so many regrets: Regrets about how I raised my son, regrets about putting him on medication as a five-year old, regrets about putting him in learning-disability classes, regrets about how I punished him, regrets of saying no and letting him go when he was 26 years old. I regret being short with him the last time we talked on the phone before he overdosed and died (my biggest regret). I didn’t know it would be the last time I would speak to him. I don’t beat myself up over it anymore.

A second mom wrote: I was thinking how I’ve always regretted not putting my son on medication as I was told to when he was younger. I wished I had been stricter, said no more often.

A third mom summed it up: We all have regrets because we all wanted to do the right thing by our children.

Today’s promise to consider: Today, I’ll do what I think best for myself and my family, and I can only hope I get some of it right. I’ll learn from my mistakes, but I won’t persecute myself for what happened in the past and what I can’t change.

 

 

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Jane
Jane
9 years ago

Hello Libby and all of my fellow members of this blog. Yes Libby we try to do the next right thing as parents and that is all anyone can do. One makes what seems to be the right decision at one point in time. Motives are pure we pray we are getting it right . I don’t know any parent who actually wants to do the wrong thing.
Someone said courage is fear that has said it’s prayers. Most parents I know who have kids with this disease truly have courage. Happy Mother’s Day to all. For Mothers Day I pray that each one of us is blessed with serenity.
Love,
Jane

Libby Cataldi
Libby Cataldi
9 years ago

Thanks, Jane, for your support, wisdom and care. Your words are wise: Our motives are pure and we pray we are getting it right. That’s all we can do. We can’t change the past, but we can work toward a better future. I join you in prayer for a serene and peace-filled Mother’s Day.
My love to you,
L

Barbara
Barbara
9 years ago

I like what Jane said “courage is fear that has said its prayers”. I also agree that parents who have children with the horrible disease of addiction DO have courage.

I’ve learned from my many mistakes. And, I have a beautiful daughter to shower her with love and give her the support she needs. She will benefit from my mistakes and regrets, and she’ll never even know it.

Thanks Libby, for your undying love and support you give to all of us each and every week. You are an angel of God.

My love to you and Jane. I pray to all who come here, that you all will have a blessed Mother’s Day of peace.

God bless,

Barbara

Paula
Paula
9 years ago

Happy Mother’s Day!

I hope you are able to take time for yourself to celebrate your life and love today.

Love,

Paula

Anonymous
Anonymous
9 years ago

Barbara, I feel the same about you. You are a blessing to all of us and we learn from you and together.

Paula, Happy Mother’s Day to you and all our moms.

Sending love and prayers.

L

Barbara
Barbara
9 years ago

It was not a good mother’s day for me this year. I didn’t let on to anyone, but I was grieving for my son. Even when he was in active addiction, he always called me on mother’s day to wish me a happy day. I miss his voice and I miss his love.

Don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you all to listen to me. It helps me, to just write it down. And, I did.

Thank you for listening.

My love to all of you. My prayers are with you, always.

JOY
JOY
9 years ago

Barbara, I thought of you yesterday. I know how painful it was for my mother missing my brother. My son was transferred to federal prison on Thursday–and he too always called or texted — even in times of disappearances — but no phone call from him yesterday- but the endless waiting is over— I know where he is and alive. I gave thanks for that but it was the others who are living not knowing where their children are right now,fearing the ringing of the phone I think I thought of most — prayed for those parents yesterday. . We who know those times know the true hell it is– to go on-is so very very hard. I thank everyone of you for mothering me this past year or so — the love, the advice, the wisdom. Libby and Jeff and Jeremy, I am so grateful for your work in creating this community.

Libby Cataldi
Libby Cataldi
9 years ago

Dearest friends,

My heart is with you all. In fact, I awoke this morning thinking of you. Barbara, my heart felt heavy for you, and, Joy, I thought about your son and wondered where he was and what was happening with him. We are separated by distance, but we are close in love and support. We gather together and hold hands in hope that today is a good day and that we’ll touch that place of peace and serenity. Addiction wants to rob us of every day, and it’s a constant battle. Makes me sad.

We’ll continue to stay close and be here for one another. Lots of pain out there.

With love and respect,

L

Barbara
Barbara
9 years ago

Dear Libby, I’m so sorry for not mentioning how difficult mother’s day was for you after losing your mother. I’m so sorry for being so selfish and into my own feelings. How difficult it must have been for you.

Dear Joy, I’ve been where you are and I have been where your heart is. The only thing I can say is what Libby always says…stay close. I feel that I didn’t stay close enough. I received lots of letters from federal prison from my son. It truly is a revelation. Letters have to be a certain way, envelopes a certain size, etc. My son’s letters were very difficult to decipher. Some of them were from his heart, some of them were that he just wanted money. My prayers go out to you, my friend. I pray that you get the strength from our heavenly Father to get through this. He will give you the strength you need, if you only ask him.

My love to you, Libby and all who come here.

Libby Cataldi
Libby Cataldi
9 years ago

My dearest Barbara, Thanks for your generous comment. It was a difficult day for me, without my mom, but my heart was heavy for you. Losing a child is profoundly deep dimension and I can’t even imagine the pain. We are all with you.

Joy, I was recently talking with a friend whose son is in jail. She said the same thing that Barbara and Jane said – that she visited him only once and could not go back. The pain was unbearable. We pray.

Love to you all,

L