Jeff wrote, This is the first year that my New Year’s resolution was crystal clear: contribution. I need to do more for my community, to give back in bigger, more consistent ways – roll up my sleeves every week and offer my time and experiences to the people around me. The Big Book says, “To keep what we have, we need to give it away.”
My reflection: For years, I scoffed at making New Year’s resolutions. I felt silly resolving to do something I knew I would abandon after a few weeks. When Jeff told me his resolution, I thought I’d try again to resolve something because I, too, knew what I needed to do to be a better person. I will commit time each day to reading, praying and becoming more centered in myself and with my God.
Today’s Promise to consider: Even though I may not be a big believer in New Year’s resolutions, this year I will try. Jeff will contribute more to his community. I will grow stronger in my spirituality. Maybe we’ll all take some time to reflect on what is important to us. Happy New Year!
I need to spend more time on all that I have to be grateful for and to share with others how grateful I am to have them in my life.
Of course, I am so grateful to Libby for her hard work in keeping her Blog going for us.
Grateful for all who are willing to share.
Prayers for all of us and our addicted children.
Happy New Year to all my blog friends. Thank you Libby and Jeff. Service is a beautiful thing. We get more than we give. I know my service in Al Anon has given me so much. Thank you to all who share here as well. We all learn from each other. Be well. I wish health, happiness, recovery and peace and serenity to all who seek it.
I just read last weeks blog now. I didn’t read it last week because I was too busy rushing, so I did not slow down. Thank you for the reminders. Barbara, your post to slow down, because either way, the work gets done was filled with wisdom. You are so right. It does get done. Spending time with those we love cannot always be replaced. Children / loved ones grow up, move away, might pass away etc. we have no guarantees in life. Addiction has taught us we have only the present moments. Life is fragile. If not now when?
That being said we all have many obligations and responsibilities. Balance is what I strive for. Work life balance. I will keep that in perspective. Thank you for helping to give us all perspective Barbara. Happy new year and hope you are recovering well
I resolve to stop resoluting and let go let go let go. (: Love to you all. MY real resolutions is to do step number one over and over until my surrender is complete. I go halfway and then try to take back my sense of trying to control and solve. Let go. Let go. Let go. My mantra again for 2014. In letting go of things we cling to -from people to closed minded certainty to old beliefs — we are free to be really present to others. Thank you all.
Thank you Libby, Jeff and all who posted such great and useful insights. And, I love the picture of you and Jeff. It’s precious.
New Year resolutions are so hard to keep, so I have some I’m going to try my best to actually do. My first one is to try donate some time in a food pantry to help the homeless and families who cannot afford to buy their own groceries. I will seek out and help the homeless. I see more and more of them every day in my own neighborhood.
Thank you Jane for your kind words and all your contributions to this blog. I always read your words twice, your words are always heartfelt, insightful and to the point. I appreciate you.
Dear Joy, you are stronger than you think. You went through a lot last year. It takes time to let it sink in. Try to be patient with yourself. The old beliefs you cling to are normal, and they are difficult to let go of. Letting go is so very difficult and my heart goes out to you. I pray that you can let go and let God, whomever he may be for you. Allow his strength to come into your heart and soul. Hopefully, if you allow God’s strength to cling to, you will soon be able to let go of step number one and move on.
Happy New Year, Joy. I know it’s hard for you to think of a “happy” new year right now. Practice positive thinking, try to keep your spirit up, and soon good things will come from it. You may be able to feel happiness again.
My love and respect to you, and to all.
So many good and wise thoughts here: patience, gratitude, letting go, prayer and positive thinking. I sometimes have to dig deep to find my serenity, even when times are good. For my resolution and In my attempt to find a deeper sense of spirituality, I need to settle my thoughts and my soul. Thanks for being here. My love to you all.
I, too, sometimes have to go way deep to find my serenity. It’s difficult to settle our thoughts even when things are good. It helps me to think one thing at a time and when I feel my thoughts are not co-operating, I take a deep breath and start over again.
God is here to help us. He doesn’t care if our thoughts get jumbled sometimes. He understands, and then it will come ( the deeper sense of spirituality.)
My deep sense of spirituality comes and goes. And, I believe that God understands. He is always caring and above all, understanding. It is so wonderful to pray to such an all loving God.
Beautifully said Barbara. Yes, God understands and we can cry to him and let it go.
Once we surrender to it not being our will or our way we can be set free. I find that I let go and let God, but take back my will and have to continually remind myself again to let go and let God. It doesn’t always come naturally, however, I also think God gave us a brain to use to do some footwork too. We just have to listen for the guidance of what is it God wants us to do?
Dear Jeff & Libby
Thank you for your wonderful book. I so appreciate your honesty and especially appreciate Jeff’s insight so helpful for a mom of an addict.
My 22 year old son is in his 5th treatment center and reading your book helped me come off the cloud of euphoria that maybe this time is the one and just be grateful he is alive and safe with no expectations for the future.
I am part of a wonderful parent support group and we all are spreading the word about your fabulous book.
Thanks for keeping hope alive looking forward to having your blog especially in those dark moments.
I found your book just recently, I relate very well with you Libby as my son is a heroin addict. It has been 5 years of chaos, and life changing events in my life, my sons life and my families life. I learned to live in crisis, I was so obsessed and preoccupied with my sons addiction that I couldn’t believe how unmanageable my own life had become. The ironic part about it is I don’t have an addiction, my son does. My son is 8 months in recovery ,after a near fatal overdose that almost claimed my son Anthony’s life, he is choosing to live a different life and so am I. I have finally accepted that I cant do this for him,I cant save him from his addiction, I cant manage it, and I surely cant enable him any longer. While my son is in recovery, I am also recovering. I read some where that letting go is not ,giving up, It sounds so easy. My Anthony is 22 and I still see him as my beautiful little boy. I just wanted to write you and let you know your story has inspired me, given me hope. You write beautifully, my son has read your book and understands more of the pain that he HAD caused through his addiction.
Thanks for writing. I love your sentence, “The ironic part about it is I don’t have the addiction, my son does.” That sums up addiction. We as parents take on the responsibility of the addiction: paying the bills and fixing the consequences as we are carried away in chaos. You’re right that we, as parents, need to recover, too. Dr MacAfee says, “There’s only room for one in the addiction.” It took me years to figure this out.
Let’s keep each other and our sons in our prayers. My love to you and Anthony.