A mom wrote to me, I know all the slogans of Al-Anon: Easy Does It, One Day at a Time, Keep it Simple, First Things First. These and more are seared into my soul, but they are still hard to put into practice when things get tough.
My reflection: Let Go and Let God continues to be my go-to slogan. When Jeff was in active addiction, I repeated these words like a mantra. I knew I had no control over the addiction, and this slogan helped to keep me focused on getting out of God’s way. Even today, when things go wrong (as life is want to do), this slogan is my mainstay.
Today’s Promise to consider: Having a saying to help us through difficult times is a point of reference, helping to ground us. For years, I have called particular slogans to mind to support me through times of trouble. When I’m feeling confused and lost, my favorite is: Let Go and Let God.
I liked what you said about the mantra “let go and let God” and how it helped keep you focused and out of God’s way. I never really thought about me being in God’s way when I couldn’t control things and my son was shooting heroin. But, you are so right. We must stay out of God’s way when our loved ones are in active addiction. We must let go and let God. It has become my favorite slogan since I’ve become part of this forum. Jane says it a lot, too. Bless her heart. I just love her.
Another one of my favorite mantras is “don’t sweat the small stuff”. It, helps me get through the days when I feel overwhelmed. So, I sift through the problems and try not to sweat the small stuff.
Thank you so much for another meaningful meditation.
I Love you,
Hello Barbara, Libby, and Sue
Barbara, Just love you too!! Sending a virtual hug!!
The slogans are an easy tool to latch onto quickly in the beginning. Even so, Yes it’s hard to stand up straight let alone use a slogan when a tornadoe is trying hard to sweep you away right? I used think a lot too because my thinking was never good as it related to decisions surrounding my active son.
Libby, I too must be a slow learner because I get a lot of those lessons in my path repeatedly. Although I’m much improved now.
They are grounding for many of life’s challenges and useful tools.
Let go and Let God is a good reminder everyday. I have a plaque in my kitchen that alludes to this . It says, “good morning, this is God. I’ll be handling your problems today so have a good day”. I love it!!
Good night all
You and Jane (Pat, too) are both wonderful and share much wisdom with all of us. Experience is a great teacher, if we’re open to learning. A friend once told me, “Lessons are repeated until they’re learned.” I must be a slow learner because I’ve had lessons repeat and repeat :).
I get in God’s way all the time, thinking I know better. Many times, HE isn’t fixing things quickly enough for me, so I move in with my own will (never very successfully). My mother used to pray, “I’ll walk the walk, but You, God, take control of the destination.”
“Don’t sweat the small stuff” is perfect. It’s so easy to get caught up in all the little things and miss the big things.
Always learning – and that’s good. Thanks for being here and for showing me what faith looks like.
This is one of my favorite slogan’s also. It reminds me that there are things beyond my control and as I repeat it over and over it gives me a sense of peace.
As a child whenever I was afraid my parents would always have me say “God is with me,God will protect me”. I felt so safe when I recited those words. I guess I have always relied on my God to look out for me and my loved ones. I guess that’s why this slogan is so meaningful to me.
I must admit though, that throughout the years of my daughters addiction there have been times when my faith has been questioned over and over. As you said Barbara I just wasn’t getting the response I expected or hoped for. At times I felt he wasn’t listening at all.
Coming to terms with the revelation that there is nothing I can do anymore has been such a difficult journey and one that I continue to battle. It has though, brought me back to seek the safety of my higher power and with it a little relief from the constant worry and pain.
Thanks for listening
My friends who give me strength in good times and hard times, I’ve been reluctant to post.
We are letting go and letting God.
After almost a year and half, a relapse.
Quitting is easy. Learning to live without drugs is the hard part. WE know that.
My son thinks we do not know he is using again. Not the hardest stuff, but stuff. I wonder if it matters.
But of course, we do know.
The hardest thing right now bsdies hurting for him — is that this window of seeing him as he really is and can be, having him again in good health and funny and happy —and now watching and fearing that will go away — well ,yes feels like losing him again.
It was the longest period ever of sobriety. Part of that in jail, sure, but almost six months out.
I refuse to go down the road of Doomsday right now. OR make a big drama of this. I just can’t. If at first,.. try and try again.
He has relapsed.
He does not even need to know we know.
Tomorrow is another day.
There is still much to be grateful for.
Knowing that this disease swallows souls and families -all we can do is pray.
Go to Al-anon.
He is going for counselling again and,trying with everything he has-again.
We who love him have lived one day at a time as much as we can through all this sober time. Maybe that is why I am not screaming — the disease has power over him. He is fighting his demons. We Will keep loving him and pray without ceasing.
Stay close, stay out of the chaos. That is the best mantra anyone ever gave me. Love to you Libby and all whose stories and pain and hard won wisdom sustain us and our families.
I need to have a good cry, too. Stiff upper lip not working.
My heart goes out to you, your son and family.
As we all know too well through all our readings and discussions relapse is part of recovery. This, however does not make it any easier to face.
As you say one day at a time (and a good cry, many I’m sure) and I pray your son will find his path again through his counseling and your love.
Thinking of you
I’m sorry, deeply sorry. Relapse happens, but it always suffocates us, crashes into us and tries to destroy all bastions of hope. Dr. MacAfee says, “Relapse isn’t failure. Relapse is one step closer to recovery.”
Hold on and stay close. We will all join with you in bombarding the heavens for your son. You’re so right: Quitting is only the beginning, but learning to live in sobriety is the hardest part.
Love to you. Stay strong,
I’m deeply sorry that your son has relapsed. Have a good cry. It helped me release the emotions, so strong inside me.
Try to keep your spirits up and practice positive thinking. Relapse is a part of recovery. I will pray with everyone else here, on this blog, for you and for your son.
I know how you are hurting right now. Just know that our prayers will definitely bombard the heavens, as Libby said.
Stay strong and take good care of yourself.
Love to you,
Hi. This is my first time on this site and I just finished reading about Let Go and Let God. I try hard to use this slogan as my son is also using pills and alcohol after being in rehab for heroin. I want to tell you all how much it has helped me read previous posts. I had never heard that relapse was one step closer to recovery. Thanks for sharing the hope.
Welcome to our community of hope and love. I’m glad you’re here. Keep coming back :). We’ll all keep your son is our prayers.
Thanks Libby. I am so glad I found this. Your story about you and your son is inspiring. I have also been an alanoner for years. Alcoholism, pills and my reaction to addiction destroyed my marriage. I am determined not to let the same destroy my relationship with my lovely son Joe. I have known intuitively that staying close and loving him is the best thing. He is currently at home and there are challenging moments but alanon has taught me to keep living my life. I live in a small town in Virginia and heroin is an epidemic. I meet mothers all the time that are experiencing the same journey. God bless you for sharing your story.
…and God bless you right back, Karen. We’ll stay close. Al-Anon saved my life. Our prayers for your lovely son Joe.
Love to you,
Thank you all. Karen, you have found a beautiful community of wise and strong souls. Thank you Libby and Jeff for this oasis of hope and light.
We love you and are sending prayers for strength, wisdom and peace.
Thanks Joy. You sound like a wise and strong soul :). Prayers for your son. Joe’s rehab counselor prepared me for relapse and he did relapse..alcohol and pills so far. Sounds awful…but I feel some relief that heroin is not in the picture yet. Of course it could be and I just don’t know. I do think its positive that your son wants to fight the battle and is going to counseling. A good friend who is in alanon and has also been on this journey with her son tells me to ” trust the process”. Easier said than done.One Day At A Time.
Hi Libby..I found your Stay Close Blog many months ago and I’ve never responded before but I need to let you and others know how thankful I am that I found this site!! My son has been battling addiction since he was a teenager-14 years being heroin. I struggle with letting go and letting God on a daily basis but I’ve come to realize that I’m his biggest enabler and the more I try to “help him” the more I stand in his recovery and so I’ve finally told him…no more..I had to get out of God’s way..I’m scared but I pray ALOT!!!
Hey Nancy. A friend of mine who’s son was also on heroin but sober now have me a God Box. She showed me how she would write short sentences and thoughts down and then put them in the box. It sounds silly but has helped me let go some. Peace to you.
That’s ” gave ” me a God box :).
Glad you’re here. Getting out of God’s way can be heart wrenching. Dr. MacAfee tells me to be patient with myself….one day at a time. Keep coming back.
Love to you,