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THE EXTRAORDINARY PAIN OF ADDICTION

Dr. MacAfee told me that the pain of addiction is the agony of being trapped. Using becomes critically important because it answers every problem in a person’s life … until it doesn’t. The use is the solution until it becomes handcuffs. The juxtaposition is baffling, and the addict literally has to fight for his life.

My reflection: I never fully understood the grasp that addiction had on my son. His drug use started as a party, and ended as a prison.

Today’s Promise: During the early years of my son’s fourteen-year addiction, I thought that he could simply turn off his drug use. I told him to stop and expected it to happen. In time and with education, I learned that it would take my son great pain and courage to change his life. Our loved ones are unable to see the impact their sickness has on those who care about them. Today, I’ll offer my loved one compassion.

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View Comments (10)

  • For several years now, I’ve always looked forward to reading your Thursday morning email Libby. You never disappoint. Thank you for continuing to offer support even though your son is sober. What a commitment. You so easily could have just moved on. I want to thank you and let you know how much your emails mean to me. ❤️

    • Dearest Carri, Your message touches me deeply. Thank you. My son helps me with every entry, and it's one way of helping us to help others. As you and I both know, there is no finish line with addiction. Every day, I remember and pray for tomorrow. My love to you.

  • My son’s addiction spans 20 years. He is doing well,now thanks to methadone treatment, however, he has to go to a treatment “punishment” program in 2 weeks because of a drug arrest. I am sick about him being gone but hoping it will help. My son graduated at the top of his high school and college classes. I,lay awake and wonder what happened and where I failed

    • My dearest Nancy, I'm so sorry. Your son's addiction spans 20 years. God bless you and him. He graduated at the top of his class in high school and college. And then life took over, and addiction happened. I've asked myself the same question -- where have I failed? -- only to decide (after years) that I did the best I could. I loved my son, and addiction had other plans. It came into our home and took my son. Addiction took yours. It's a tragedy, and I'm sorry. I join you in prayer that he stays safe and healthy in this treatment program. I'll stay close in love and prayer.

  • Everything about this meditation was beautiful. I wonder Libby how we as parents can forgive ourselves for the things we did and did not do during the chaos? There are so many things I did wrong, that I wish I could have the chance to do over. I just cannot seem to forgive myself for the times I said no to her, thinking it was the right thing to do. Now we barely communicate, and I do not know where she is. If only I had helped her more.

    • Dear Mirella, I understand and have suffered with the same feelings of guilt, hurt, and incredible sadness. It took me years, but finally I did exactly what you write about -- I forgave myself. There are no real answers with addiction. We, as moms, do our best. We never wanted to make a mistake, but sometimes, with addiction, anything we do seems to wrong. We put one step in front of the other, and we pray for wisdom. I, too, made tons of mistakes, but beating myself up didn't help me or my son. You might find the video that Jeff and I made helpful. It's the first video on our website: https://libbycataldi.com/books/ Listen to Jeff's words. They are full of wisdom. My love to you.

  • I too never realised the strength of the hold the drug had on my son, how utterly devastating it was on his life! Until recently being clean for 3 years, he has opened up to me how he felt and the effect it was having in his life. Only recently have we talked about this, I now have a better understanding of exactly what he was going through, and really admire and respect him for managing to break that all consuming cycle, and stay clean for 3 years and counting! It takes great courage and strength to do that!

    • Dear Angela, Your son is 3 years clean! This is huge. God bless him and you. Yes, yes, yes - your sentences are true: "I now have a better understanding of exactly what he was going through, and really admire and respect him for managing to break that all consuming cycle, and stay clean for 3 years and counting! It takes great courage and strength to do that!"

      It does take great courage and strength to live a sober life - every day of their lives. I join you in prayer and faith and celebration.