I TRIED EVERYTHING HUMANLY POSSIBLE

jeff_TMA mom wrote to me: I tried everything humanly possible to save my son. And then I let go. I have so much love and gratitude for the peace I am now experiencing. I have no illusions for tomorrow. I went to three funerals of young people in ten days.

My reflection: I, too, tried everything humanly possible to stop my son’s addiction. I paid to get him out of trouble, forced him into recovery, and tracked him down whenever he couldn’t be found. After fourteen years of trying to control my son’s addiction, I surrendered with love.

Today’s Promise to consider: It was only after acknowledging that I did everything in my power to stop Jeff’s addiction, was I able to let go. It was sobering, but crucial for me to realize that no matter how much of myself I poured into his illness, the choice to stop was his alone. When I surrendered with love, I felt peace.

 

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Sherry bazuin
Sherry bazuin
6 years ago

It’s impossible for me not to be pulled back in as long as my 4 yr old grand daughter is in our daughter’s home. Anyone w/ experience when a child is involved?

Mary
Mary
6 years ago
Reply to  Sherry bazuin

My son is an addict. His drug of choice is opiates – oxycodone, Percocet, no heroin, thank God. He has 4 children and a, soon to be, ex-wife. According to so many of the things I see on these websites, I did everything wrong. However, he’s in a suboxone program now and clean over a year. His status has been verified by his doctor with urine drug tests as well as hair follicle tests. I forced him into rehab EVERY time. I searched for him EVERY time. People kept telling me I had to let him hit rock bottom, that I was delaying his treatment, that I had to take care of myself, etc. I asked a counselor if I was wrong to force him into rehab and she said that it was always better in rehab than out of rehab. As long as someone is in rehab there’s a chance they will hear or see something that will turn them around. My son stole from us, lied to us, did all of the awful things you hear about….he’s clean now, today. Every day I know that can change, but I live and sleep much better with that uncertainty than I did when he was high or looking to get high. So to answer your question, in my humble opinion, you do everything you can to keep that grandchild safe, then you do everything you can to help your daughter get clean. God bless you and I will add you to my prayer list…that’s my coping technique…prayer.

Pat Nichols
6 years ago

We, as parents, are forced to wear ourselves out before we can find our own recovery. It’s simply part of the process of addiction. I wish there was an easier path but I have never found one. I remember how much better I felt when I was able to step in and ease my son’s pain but all I was doing was postponing his recovery. I was in the way of his recovery and mine. However, I couldn’t stop myself! Eventually the disease beat me down so bad the only path left for me was my own 12 step program.

Judy
Judy
6 years ago

I, myself, did the same thing, and 12 hrs later, my daughter took her own life.

Donna merritt
Donna merritt
6 years ago
Reply to  Judy

My biggest fear. Why isn’t there an island somewhere drug free you can go to. Why aren’t politicians concerned. Im so sorry.

Donna merritt
Donna merritt
6 years ago

I myself forced my son into rehabs. And finally he put himself in one for 7 months. Has just recently ran from it. But due to my job and my moms health I can’t track him down. And I’m finally tired. I can’t go through twhat I’ve been through for the past 5 years. His homeless but oddly surviving and the strangest thing of all he hasnt sounded high at all. I know I would have done everything the same. But I honestly see that nothing I did helped. He told me 30 day rehabs were just a vacation. He will soon be 21 and may be facing some prison time. I’ve tried to tell him I’ve worked as an RN in prisons and teen challenge he was in is a luxury resort up side prison. I don’t understand this beautiful gifted son of mine with sister who love him so much. That he just want stop.

Donna
Donna
6 years ago

Thank you for verifying that I am at this exact point and your so right on. I did all I could. Time to let go. Ty