TWO PARENTS: ONE STORY, PART 5

1396046_10151983467212640_1412872372_nFinal in the series: Gratitude for the Journey of Addiction 

A mom wrote, My son has been sober for almost two years. We are grateful for this victory, but I am also grateful for the difficult journey. I know this sounds crazy, but I would not have the relationship with my son that I have today if we had not traveled that long and challenging road together. It was not easy. At times, I thought I would fade away.

I am beginning to reclaim my life. And so is my son. It is not easy. For me, it means confronting a lot of grief, but I know I must go through this to be whole again.

Our son began his freshman year of college in August. So far so good. He is proclaiming his recovery in a mighty way. I know that the bumps may come, and I struggle with this; however, I am learning to let him live his own life.

A mom wrote, I remember the first time I was able to say honestly in an Al-Anon meeting that I was grateful for my son’s addiction, and I still today believe it with my whole heart. Although at times I am tempted to wish the dreams I had for my son (in this order: college, good job, marriage, children) had happened, I know that I wouldn’t trade the young man he is today for any “normal” 23 year old, who followed the “expected” path.

Today’s Promise to Consider: Thank you to all who share their stories of hope and strength. We join hands to bring addiction out of the darkness and into the light. We’ll keep reaching out to help another. We’ll stay in gratitude.

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Gina Decosimo
Gina Decosimo
8 years ago

These two mother’s took the words out of my mouth and the feelings from my heart. I too am grateful for this difficult journey. It brought me closer to my son
than I ever would have been with out it. It brought me closer to myself as well. Also I feel as the second mother said, I am also tempted to wish for dreams that I had for my son. But those where mine not his. And today he is living his life on his terms. I wouldn’t trade the young man he is today for any “normal” 25 year old either. Today he is healthier in mind body and soul then most kids that didn’t have the diease of addiction.
And yes we do join hands to bring addiction out of the darkness. We bring the message of hope to parents that are still struggling. Thanks to you Libby for helping facilitate that. You’re a blessing!

Jane
Jane
8 years ago

I have so much to be grateful for. My time in Al Anon and my struggles with this disease in my family have changed me for the better. I no longer worry about insignificant annoyances. I thank God for my health and my family. I thank God for the wonderful people I have met and developed relationships as a result of this disease. Beautiful sunrises, sunsets, birds, butterflies, oceans etc are more special to me now because they represent simplicity of our lives. I am not sure of a lot as it pertains to my son. I am grateful he is alive and able to work each day at life on life’s terms. There is always hope. I hope and pray his dreams come true whatever they may be. I used to dream of an outcome. Don’t we all as mothers and fathers. Now I pray for recovery in the fullest sense of what we all know as recovery

From my lips to God’s ears.
Jane

JOY
JOY
8 years ago

I’m grateful for all of you who come here and share. For Libby, Jeff, Jeremy- I thank you every day herein my home. A lifeline. What if I had never found your book Libby? I’ve missed these meditations. I read the posts tonight –my heart aches at times because I feel the pain ogf others — but it gladdens me to hear of happy hopeful stories too. I took a BIG break from thinking about addiction and my son in jail. I took a break from doing, too. We had a vacation –and I wasn’t working or worrying. I prayed my way through every church I found, I didn’t do my twelve steps but we walked up many steps, many many– and somehow –maybe after all that deep breathing and fresh air- my heart softened, and I found myself accepting more and hurting less. I am so grateful for a gentle husband -a stepfather to my sons -who has never walked away but kept loving.
MY son, in jail, is clean since April. I know he is because talking to him on the phone is a joy. REjoice, rejoice.Today he is safe. I t was so much harder when he was missing. So yes, I am grateful for today. For feeling my spirit rising again. Grateful for The Journey of Addiction? I know what you are saying, I can see why there is gratitude. I am not there yet. I’ll keep trying. I accept this is my journey –and my son’s addiction is deep and he is in jail. That is a beginning. Acceptance of a reality I never dreamed of. I am grateful i am finding More courage. I am grateful for love here. I may be refreshed but I still want pain of addiction for all families to end. I can’t go to sleep without thinking that there is a parent right now wondering if a phone call is coming tonight or tomorrow. And so –always I am grateful doe the power of prayer. Love and prayers for all.

Sue
Sue
8 years ago

This has been a journey I never expected to take. It has been eight years and at times I don’t think I will ever feel happiness again. My daughter asked to come home recently to get clean and I had such hope she would succeed this time. It didn’t take long before she was gone again and although I worry all the time I have finally been able to detach a little. Someone told me about this site and your book Libby and I am so grateful for both. It gives me comfort in those moments of desperation to know that I am not alone.

Barbara
Barbara
8 years ago

Dear Jane, I just love reading your post this week. How I could relate to it. Your posting sounded like I was writing it about 7-8 years ago. Even though I don’t have to worry about my son, I hope and pray for all of the addicts. Your posting came from your heart and I felt it.

Dear Joy, I love reading your posts. You mentioned your husband/stepfather in your posting. My husband/stepfather was just exactly like the one you are blessed with. If it weren’t for my husband, and his support, his love for my son, I don’t know if I would be here. I’m so grateful for your positive influence and the insight you bring to this forum. I’m so glad you had some time to not “worry” even if it was just for a few days.

Dear Sue, I’ve been where you’re at right now. It’s not easy. Nothing about this disease is easy. I feel so sorry for your daughter. She needs love, help and support. But, she needs to want the help. Until then, she will be in limbo. I will pray so hard for her recovery. We are glad you’re here. We help each other through each day, month, year.

Libby is right – our children need to find their way home. Home to themselves.

God Bless you all

Barbara
Barbara
8 years ago

Dear Gina,

I had a very special relationship with my son after he went to rehab and before he relapsed and died. Thank God your son is healthy. I hope his guardian angel keeps his mind and body healthy!

With love,
Barbara

mary
mary
8 years ago

Libbey,
I write not knowing if you would have time to answer but I saw your youtube and
cried with you as though you were telling my story.

I write you today as I search yet again for a program that will save my son.
You see, I don’t know if he wants to be saved but I have to have hope and try
to continue the fight even when it seems he can’t

He is in the hospital today, begging to get out, he wants this over. He wants
to be clean but cannot find what it takes. He is 24, he looks so very similar to
your beautiful son, he is my adopted son and has a place so big in my heart
that nothing else will ever fill.

I have been searching for an unconventional treatment as he has gone to
15-17 treatments in 7 years.

San Patrignano feels like a gift I found on google, I don’t know how.
Everything I read sounds exactly like what he may need. I know you mention it.
I have difficulty thinking we would send him so far from anything familiar to us yet
I would do anything if it would give him another chance, a chance to start fresh,
to start over.

Can you give me any encouragement about your experience with San Patrignano,
even if it was just a first hand visit you had. I am not sure if you know a lot but
is it safe, is it as it seems online???

I can’t bear to think that Tommy’s chances are gone. I want to keep pushing, encouraging
although I know this is his battle, not mine. As a mother I can’t quit caring until it is really
over and I pray that through God’s mercy, Tommy, like Jeff, will live again, a clean and
productive, drug free life.

Your email address would not work for contacting you?

Thank you.

meverett1203@gmail.com