WHAT DOES ‘LETTING GO AND LETTING GOD’ MEAN?

A mother wrote to me, ‘Letting go and letting God’ must have no strings attached, that is, any expectations of outcomes. Death is a very real outcome in our stories. I remember when a friend confronted me with this. Yes, it is terrifying, and I lived in fear and worry for many years, often reacting in unhealthy ways, trying to fix and control. When I realized nothing I did made my son’s situation any different and, in fact, often made things worse, I hit my bottom. I had to save myself. This did not mean I turned my back on my son. I talked with him often, but I stopped trying to determine if he was sober or if he was using. I realized that I was powerless over another human being, no matter what the situation.

My reflection: Although ‘Let go and let God’ was my mantra for years, I just couldn’t relinquish the thought that I could change my son. I was convinced that love was stronger than the pull of addiction.

Today’s Promise to consider: It’s natural that want to save our children. When they are suffering, we are quick to jump into the fire and rescue them. It took me fourteen years to admit that I was powerless over my son’s addiction. I fought the good fight, but in the end HE had to save himself. Today, I will stay close and love my child, but I will stay out of the chaos of his addiction.

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Dawn Marie
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Dawn Marie

Thank you for sharing. I am learning to let go of my son’s addiction. It is such a a challenge but knowing I am not alone and reading others posts is a tremendous help! Thank you to all ❤️❤️

Lorie
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Lorie

Thank you. I needed to hear this today. The work is in progress but to hear this helps me get through.

Patricia
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Patricia

Thank you for this!!! I needed to hear this as I struggle daily with this. My heart breaks for my son

Laurie
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Laurie

This hits home. I thought I was getting stronger until a bad crisis 3 weeks ago. He shouldn’t be with us, but he is, and I have hope again. But the crisis hit me hard. I can’t stop this terror. It’s so hard to let go when I keep thinking “what if this is the ONE time I rescue him, it is the one that works.” Not healthy I know. And the guilt when I realize I might be prolonging his addiction. Awful nightmare! I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, but I’m glad I’m not alone. God bless you all.… Read more »

Mindy Bartholomae
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Mindy Bartholomae

Though I haven’t experienced any major crises with our son in the past 2 years or so, I’ve been in that dark place many times before. They say hindsight is 20/20, but before I hit my bottom, when I was insane with trying desperately to make his situation other than what it was, before I really embraced AlAnon, I would find myself in that place time and time again where my fear, and my ego, told me I HAD to do something to “help” or “fix”. There never is black or white, and I try not to fall back on… Read more »

Kathy
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Kathy

The timing of this meditation was perfect! It seems that just when I think our son has turned a major corner, his addictive behavior returns. It’s as if he doesn’t want to leave that part of his life behind to claim what lies ahead. As a parent, it is very hard to watch your child self destruct!

Pat Nichols
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My counselor once told me she has learned that parents of addicted children must try and fail numerous times to rescue their children before the change process can begin. There is no blame or shame with this process as it is necessary to regain our peace and serenity. As Libby and I have discovered it take many many years. Never give up on yourself or your child as a new beginning is coming. The latest figures from the National Survey on Drug Abuse and Health indicate that among those who had an alcohol or drug problem, the remission rate was… Read more »

Joanne Mickol
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Joanne Mickol

It took me 20 years to get out of God’s way in order for my son to be delivered from the evil of drugs he was living in. I was always thinking of ways to “help” him. One day it hit me, that there was nothing I could do. Only God and Tommy’s will would save him. I did step aside and after 20 years of addiction he allowed God in and is in recovery. He has been transformed! I had to “let go and let God”, I got out of the way.