A mother wrote to me: My life has been filled with my son’s arrests and multiple treatment attempts. My hope and trust have been shattered, rebuilt, and bounced around like a ping-pong ball. I have two sons who are such opposites, one brave and reckless, the other cautious and intellectual. I have volumes of photos of beautiful little boys dressed like superheroes: Zorro, Leonardo, Wolverine, Knights in Shining Armor, and Ghost Busters. My oldest son received a medal for the Dare Anti-Drug program best in class honors, yet went on to try all the drugs they warned against.
My reflection: How does one child become an addict and the other does not? Why does one child contract an illness while the other is unscathed? Why did I have cancer and my brother did not?
Today’s Promise: There is a large body of research that identifies addiction an illness. It might be lying dormant from the time our child is born, like depression or diabetes, but when it’s activated the ramifications are serious. We look at the pictures of our children when they were young and innocent and we wonder why. Maybe what we’re really asking is what could we have done to stop it. Today, I accept that my child has a problem with substance abuse. I’ll continue to stay close, find solace in my support group and counselors, and pray he comes home to himself.
This is one question I have asked for the past three years, and I will continue to ask until I die. I lost my youngest daughter to an overdose, and I am slowly losing my son to this disease. I often say, “who are we to question why?” but the answer is always the same – ??? WHY? I know I have tried, and continue trying to save one of my children, but that’s all I can (we can) do is TRY. Blessings.
My dearest Mary Ann, I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter, and now you are struggling with your son. I have no good answer to WHY and my guess is there is no good answer. People can give us reasons like heredity, disease, and others, but in reality the pain of losing a child makes no sense. My love and prayers.
Mary Ann so sorry for the loss of your daughter, just heartbreaking.