WITH ADDICTION, HOW DO WE TRANSFORM DISAPPOINTMENT, FRUSTRATION, AND ANXIETY?

A dad wrote: Through my son’s addiction, I learned to be forgiving and not disappointed, I learned to be loving and not frustrated, I learned to be patient and not anxious. Our children find recovery in their own way and in their own time.

My reflection: When my son was in active addiction, I never quit loving him, but I certainly was disappointed and anxious. I was also cloaked in deep fear and worry. I’m sure my son felt my emotions and, probably, registered them as rejection.

Today’s Promise to consider: We want our children to be safe, healthy, and happy, but addiction overwhelms with fear, disappointment, and frustration. The father who wrote learned how to transform his negative feelings into gestures of love, forgiveness, and patience. Isn’t that what all our children deserve, especially those who are suffering from the disease of addiction? As hard as it can be, today and tomorrow, and tomorrow again, let us choose love.

 

 

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Leigh
1 month ago

The father who wrote didn’t say over what period of time he learned all those things…maybe he is a psychotherapist or has been practicing Buddhism for many years, But I think his experience, while admirable, is quite unique. Your response, Libby, was much more like my own and like other parents I know whose children struggle with addiction. His experience serves as a helpful goal, but it’s just not that easy. ❤️

Anne
Anne
1 month ago

First I want to thank you Libby for your book and this weekly blog. It is always good to know you are not alone in this tragic struggle. My husband and I have struggled for 10 years with our addicted son who also has a serious although now well medicated mental disorder. As there is clearly no sure path forward in this so complicated disease we would often be reduced to asking ourselves” how do we love our obviously suffering child? Kicking him to the curb seemed very contrary to loving someone but sometimes it Is a gift- but so hard to do especially for a parent. The constant idea that not enabling will lead to tragedy
Is something that I believe we all fear ;and is always the elephant in the room.
Agreed love should always be the answer but how that looks in the face of addiction very complicated.

Claudio
Claudio
1 month ago

Cara LIBBY, grazie Per i tuoi post
Sono veri e vissuti con il dolore. La dipendenza ti fa avere paura di tutto, è un uragano di dolore. La paura di rivedere tuo figlio fatto, non stare bene è demolente. Ma la dipendenza può essere anche una rinascita, lenta, dolorosa, unica se ci accorgiamo che siamo noi ad alimentare le nostre paure. Se smettiamo di guardare la paura come una nemica ma la affrontiamo e l accogliamo la paura si trasforma in rassegnata quiete ed attesa
Claudio