From my son, I learned that as much as he loved his family, he had to choose sobriety for himself. Many of us, who love addicts, want to believe that the addict will change his ways for the family, a child, or another person. As a recovering person once told me, “Let’s face it. I had to decide whether I would live or die. I got clean for myself.”
My reflection: Several times I asked my son why he didn’t stop doing drugs when he saw all the damage addiction was spewing onto the family. He explained that he never wanted to hurt us, that he wanted desperately to keep us to the side, but that drugs are all powerful. Once he was locked in their grasp, he was overwhelmed with the hunt for more.
Today’s Promise to consider: One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is that love wasn’t enough to save my son from addiction’s clutches. The disease takes the healthiest parts of love and smashes them into worry, helplessness and hopelessness. The reality is that addicts must choose to change for themselves. It’s the only way sobriety takes a lasting hold. Today, I’ll pray that my loved one makes the choice.
First of all, so sorry for your loss. It’s unimaginable. This is the scariest thing I’ve heard “Love isn’t enough”. We (our whole family) love our daughter, sister, niece, cousin, and aunt so much and she has all the love and support in the world and to think she would still choose her addiction is just so unbelievable! Thank God she is going on her 6th month of sobriety where she has been before after many attempts, we still worry about her choices. Prayers to you.
Dear Linda,
Thank you for writing. After a 14-year heroin addiction, my son is healthy today. He is my greatest teacher about addiction.
Six months of sobriety is a HUGE achievement. My son tells me that even one day is big. I celebrate with you that today is a good day for both our children, and I join you in prayer for tomorrow.