My big brother died this past Sunday.
We’re never ready to lose the people we love.
My heart is especially with his wife, Darlene; his children, Rebecca and Bob; my younger brother, Ted; and everyone whose life was woven together with his. The feeling of loss is profound, and his passing leaves an empty place that can never quite be filled.
But I knew him in my own way.
He was my big brother.
My first friend.
I’ve never known life without him in it.
He had nicknames for me – Lugel, Pain, and, best of all, Sister.
When we were little, he taught me Pig Latin so we could talk without our parents knowing what we were saying. He tried to protect me when the neighborhood boys didn’t want me playing pickup ball with them. When boys asked me out in high school, my father asked JF what he thought before giving me permission to go.
And he never really stopped being my big brother. Even after I grew up and had a life of my own, he still looked out for me. He never hesitated to offer advice, even when I didn’t want to hear it. I understand now that this was the way he loved me best.
As children, we rarely imagine a day when one of us will have to say goodbye to the other.
Going forward, there will be many moments when I’ll want to ask, “Do you remember…?” Then I’ll remember that I can’t.
The little boy in the picture with his arm around his sister never really let go.
Libby, this is so hard to deal with. I lost my younger brother on Christmas Eve just six months ago and I lost my mother six months later on 4 July, just one month ago.
It is disorienting and emptying. And yet we see another day.
You suffered the loss of your younger brother and mother within six months. I can’t imagine the pain. …and yet we see another day. Thanks for the comforting and uplifting message.