A recovering addict sent me this quote, We could search the whole world over and never find another being more worthy of our love than ourselves.
My reflection: I talked with Jeff about this, and he said, “A lack of self love is typically one of the core issues facing addicts. Especially when we start to get sober, we beat ourselves up for all the pain we caused the people around us. Thankfully, that’s what the program of AA provides – a community that genuinely cares about us when we have a hard time finding that care in ourselves. Ultimately, we come to find that love within ourselves, but it takes time.”
Today’s Promise written by Jeff: Self love seems foreign, insane and impossible to the addict, but I’ve seen with my own eyes countless recovering people make the transition from self loathing to self love. Today I will allow my recovering community to love me when I can’t love myself. I will trust that by staying committed to the program of AA and leaning on my Higher Power that love will begin to take hold in my heart.2288
Love your blog! It gives me hope and inspiration for my sons recovery. Everyone should take the opportunity to love themselves…
I learned to sit mindfully and allow all the compassion of my fellow travelers to embrace me, to enter my soul.
I gave over my will to the God of my understanding. I have been set free from addiction’s hold on me and the Twelve Steps has secured my continued peace and serenity.
My sponsor taught me to forgive myself first and from there I grew into acceptance of my addicted child’s disease.
The greatest gift I have ever given myself was to forgive my child.
May it be so with all who suffer from this disease.
Libby, Just ran into an old friend whose family has been affected by addiction and when I mentioned your book she was all too familiar with it and had already read today’s meditation. I was so proud to say I knew you and to learn how widespread your words, wisdom and experiences are being reaching! Hope all is well.
Pat I love your words about forgiving your child.
I remember reading an article recently that said no one likes an addict, no one wants to be around an addict. I remember thinking how much that hurt me because they were talking about my child. The article went on to talk about all the awful things a parent could expect from their addicted child, lies, stealing, blame, jail time, damaged property and so on. I can remember thinking “wow this is my daughter”.
Through all these years I have struggled to understand what has happened. As I come to accept the path addiction has taken in our home I feel an incredible sadness because there is nothing I can do. I am able to go on with my life now, at least one day at a time, but I am moving on.
The last time My daughter was home she had said she felt unwanted, not only by me but her siblings as well. She was detoxing, so not at her best to say the least, but it was obvious she was uncomfortable and felt judged. I know one of her core issues is self loathing and as her addiction progresses it strengthens her self loathing. I know it pains her to think about what she has done to her friends and family. She has said she hates that she is so far behind in where she expected to be in life and because of this I often worry she will give up totally.
I thought I had accepted her without judgement this last time she was home but I realize now that I had not completely let go of my anger and fears. If I ever get the chance to see her again I do want her to know that I have forgiven her, love her and accept her for who she is.
Thanks for reaching out to me. We all need to hold hands and fight addiction together. It’s a battle, and I’m deeply grateful Jeff is helping me. He brings hope and a raw honesty that he knows from living it. Thanks for staying close.
You are so right – forgiveness is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. We do our best.
Stay strong. We do the best we can do. How many mistakes I’ve made and, as Pat says: forgiveness.
Thanks for being here. We join hands and keep hope.
Love you all.
Dear Libby and Pat,
I agree with you – forgiveness is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. It’s not only the greatest gift, it’s the most difficult thing for us to achieve. It took years and years for me to forgive myself, and when it finally lifted from my soul, it felt as if a huge boulder fell off my shoulders and my heart was comforted.
In my opinion, guilt is the most difficult thing to overcome. Whether it be instilled in us by others, or put on ourselves. But, once we overcome the guilt and allow ourselves to forgive ourselves, we can move on. We can move on with help from AA and other support groups (such as this wonderful blog that Libby and Jeff has created).
Your story of yourself and your daughter is one of many. But, yours is close to my heart because you come here and share it with us. The last words of your posting resonated with me. As soon as you can, reach out to your daughter and do just that. Tell her that you love her for whom she is and that you forgive her. I didn’t get the chance with my son. And, how I wish I could have said those very words to him before he passed away.
I pray that your daughter will soon find sobriety and hope your heart will be comforted, soon.
God Bless you,
What a beautiful picture and message…one of hope, strength, love, life and possibilities.
Thank you, Libby and Jeff, for this gift.