A friend of mine wrote: With addiction, we need to be cautious not to malign the reputation of our loved one by confessing their troubles, even when they cause us trouble. Although their behavior may sometimes be unacceptable, I recognize that they’re deep in the clutches of their disease.
My reflection: When my son was in active addiction, I operated from a space of hurt, confusion, and anger. In that anger, I often said things that maligned his character and cut deep wounds. My friend’s words flooded me with memories, many I wish I could erase.
Today’s Promise to consider: These wise words hit me hard. How many times I didn’t protect my son with my speech. When my anger took hold, nothing good came from it. I’m so sorry, Jeff. Today, I stand tall for my son.
I too regret things that I said to my alcoholic brother you died a painfully lonely death. I was told that I don’t think of anyone’s feelings but my own. This haunts me. But I have to remember all that I was going through back then. It’s hard but we have to forgive ourselves. Thanks for listening.
Dearest Diane, I understand. My son, a heroin addict, helped write this post. The original title was “Defend and Protect,” but he said, “Mom, there are times when an addict’s behavior is horrendous and there is no way to defend and protect.” In other words, he, an addict, understands that there are times when hurts cut too deep and anger is the normal reaction. We are all human, and life happens. I, too, have had to forgive myself.
Thanks for reaching out. My love to you.