A mom wrote to me on facebook from 2012 – 2016:
2012: My son had his first visit home on Thanksgiving. It was not good. When we told him that he wasn’t ready to live with his brother, he completely blew up and wouldn’t speak to us. He hasn’t called or texted or anything since then. It’s heartbreaking because I know he is hurting, but he has cut me off. I keep him close to my heart, but he doesn’t want to hear my voice or see me. When you look in your child’s dark and cold eyes and you know they feel unworthy of self love, it totally breaks your heart.
2014: My son celebrated 2 clean years Monday! He’s going to college in a few weeks…..living at home though.
2015: Yesterday, we were at the store looking for dress pants, shirts and ties, patterned socks and “pointy toe” shoes. He is headed back for sophomore year at a local university having finished on the Dean’s list. He is doing a summer internship with a legal company that works on regulatory shipping issues. When he was a small child, I envisioned him working in the legal field. I can’t help but smile!
2016: I wanted u to be the first to know. My son is 4 yrs clean, July 28! He’s going to law school!!! Still staying close!
Today’s Promise to consider: When our child is in the depths of addiction, it’s hard to have hope. Each day is a painful struggle and a reminder that he is alive under the drugs. This mother’s four-year notes tell the story of renewal and possibility. Where there is life, there is hope. I’ll continue to stay close.
Our daughter celebrated her 4th year in recovery on July 12th and we couldn’t be prouder. We stayed close throughout all the years she struggled and will continue to do so in the years to come as she grows and flourishes.
I love this! My son just celebrated three years clean! He is working so hard at making things right. Congrats to your son! I always stayed close !
What a beautiful story… I love your message…a story of hope, renewal and possibilities. As Libby reminds us, we will stay close…together.
My daughter has 10 months clean now but I still find I wake up at night in a panic. The fear comes rushing back for no apparent reason.
I find it surprising that even though I am hopeful I can still become paralyzed with the old emotions without warning. After 13 years I guess its just been such a long battle that my emotional turmoil is so en-grained in my being it comes out even at rest.
I see how hard she works in her recovery and must remind myself that I need to do the same even when things are going well (probably more so when things are going well). I think that is where my subconscious keeps me in line, it won’t let me off the hook and slip back into the old patterns of complacency. It continues to remind me I need work too.
I hear myself here Jane. This is true for me too and you are wise to be honest with the admission of fear. I thought I was working hard and wanted to believe the best and not live in fear but often it rushed in or crept in sideways. I hoped I would not be devastated if my son relapsed – but I realize now the work does not save me from the heart ache when I received news of relapse— maybe I did not work hard enough. But I do know how to manage news of his relapse a little better sooner. Small victories are big. He’s where he is. Trying so hard. Thanks for these words.
My son celebrated his 1 st year clean on May 12! Its been such a long and lonely road. But…with his recovery, I am finding my way too. The recovery community is strong and welcoming. Ive found real friends when I had lost hope in the human race. I always stayed close and am SO blessed for having done so! I’ll stay the course and stay close!