GIVING BACK

Uncle Jeff and niece Iysa

A mother wrote to me: I work in a hospital and today we received a seventeen-year old, attempted OD and positive for opiates. I felt so helpless. I knew there was probably (hopefully) a mother, father or someone with this young addict and I wished I could have gone to his or her side to offer support. I know that feeling of being in the ER with a loved one, frightened.

I feel it’s time for me to give back, to do something. Please pray that I have the courage and strength to follow through with offering myself to speak with/be there with other families in time of need.

My personal reaction to this message: I will pray that this mom and others find the courage and strength to step forward and help others, to reach out a hand to a brother, mother, father or sister. Addiction is steeped in shame, stigma, silence and secrets. Stepping forward is not easy, but when I was young, we didn’t talk about abortion, homosexuality or even divorce. Today we talk about these issues and confront them.

Today’s Promise to consider: I will find the strength to help someone today. I will reach out a hand or lend a listening ear. I will do it simply and be present for another.

 

 

1052
0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest

9 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Barbara
Barbara
10 years ago

Dear Libby,

You are a perfect exemplar of what your message is presenting this week. You’ve experienced devastation in your family life and in your personal life (breast cancer)and you wrote a book to help other people. It’s people like you and the ones who participate in this forum that keep our spirits alive, well, and positive. It’s people like you who keep us focused. I thank you so much for writing your book, starting this blog and being there for all of us. You have already fulfilled today’s promise to consider.

Lots of love,

Barbara

Pat Nichols
Pat Nichols
10 years ago

Yes Barbara, Libby is a giver.

I was privileged to be in the audience and hear Libby and Jeff speak to several hundred parents at a local fund raiser for a foundation that raises money for treatment

It was a “priceless” experience for me and my wife. Libby words, as a loving Mother, made an incredible impact on us. We took her strength and hope with us; this experience allowed my wife and I to take our own recovery to the next level.

I bought her book and devoured it. I underlined the keys points and highlighted section that I didn’t understand, then I took the book apart and made copious notes.

I then did the unthinkable, I was consumed with questions so I took the bold step of personally calling Libby to ask her to explain certain parts of her story that was confusing to me.

I was concerned about her reaction to a stranger calling and “quizzing” her over her book. What I found was a loving person who knew she was speaking to a Father searching for truths to strengthen his own recovery. A Father, still in great emotional pain, attempting to make sense of the senseless.

I freely give her book to other parents who are on their own path to recovery. I will spend hours on the phone with any parent in need of understanding and resources. I too give. One of the reasons I do is because of individuals like Libby who freely gave to me.

You to can be a giver.

Jane
Jane
10 years ago

Hi all
The secret to my recovery is that once I started giving back at my Al Anon meetings and at work (a hospital)I started really healing. It is a long process that is still underway and most likely will be for the rest of my life as it is a continuum. I also lend Libby’s book to other parents. My good friend has it right now as she is going through all of this and I told her she must read it. Libby’s book is the one that I truly related to. My sister read it and said I felt like I was reading about you. Interesting.
We can all give in our own ways. Some are ready to give in big ways and others are only ready to give in smaller ways. it is all part of the process of healing.

@Pat- I have had a week or two of “relapse” myself. My son has had significant issues this past month and I have had to learn the meaning of detachment again. I had to learn the hard way again that I was trying to force a solution. it doesn’t work and I saw that again. It must come from him. All I can do is stay close as Libby tells us. it is true.
Thank you all-and you are all in my prayers.
Jane

Libby
Libby
10 years ago

Dear Barbara,

We’ve never met, but I love you! YOU keep us focused and you are so very important to us. Your loss is the greatest of all, yet you reach out to us, helping us to be stronger. There are no words adequate enough to express my gratitude to you. I learn from you.

With love,

Libby

Libby
Libby
10 years ago

Dear Pat,

You reach out and help many, many others. You continue to work on your own recovery and I’m still working on mine. We both know that it’s a never-ending process. I thank you for reaching out to me and I thank you for all you do for others. I carry your words with me, “Don’t focus on your fears.” Thanks for staying close all these years.

Libby

Libby
Libby
10 years ago

Dear Jane,

Al-Anon was my saving grace, too. There I found compassion and healing. There I found people who didn’t judge me, but who walked with me. There I found that the more I gave to others, the stronger I became.

Stay strong through this time with your son. Dr. MacAfee says that relapse is a part of recovery. Tough to hear, tougher to live through, but true.

You are not alone. We are with you.

Libby

Nanci
Nanci
10 years ago

Dear Libby and all the families who have come together…
I am so grateful to you, Libby, my Alanon family and all who have chosen to hold each other’s hand through the roller-coaster of addiction. I truly do NOT know where I would be without you.
The picture of Jeff and his niece speaks volumes. It brings such joy and hope. Giving back to others has tremendously helped my personal recovery from addiction’s devastation. Thank you, Libby, for your guidance, compassion and direction. Thank God we are not in this journey, alone.
God Bless…Nanci

Libby
Libby
10 years ago

Dearest Nanci,

Your words are so true, “Thank God we are not in this journey alone.” We are not alone and there is hope. Love to you, always.

Libby

Hessy
10 years ago

This is just the pefcret answer for all forum members