Dr. MacAfee wrote to me: Many years ago, a dad, a laborer, a very hard working man and ever so wise whose daughter had died, came back into therapy after a couple months absence – around the anniversary of her death. In my awkwardness, filling space with my anxiety, I said, “these anniversaries are so difficult.” To which he said, “Dr. MacAfee, I know you mean well, but everyday is the anniversary.”
In that moment, Libby, I learned about trauma and grieving in a way as never before. Needless to say tears filled both our eyes and I came to understand something – a great gift from a grieving father.
My reflection on the passage above: Often we carry our grief alone, lock it inside ourselves where it isolates us, swells and hurts every day. There are times when I feel the grief of lost years, of dreams that missed the mark and of hurts that happened without my being able to stop them. When I least expect it, a remembrance comes to mind and I feel grief for what has been.
Today’s promise to consider: Feeling grief is a part of the human condition and it can trap us in a place where we feel totally alone. Today I will share my grief, my sadness. I will talk with someone and maybe he or she will help me carry it, if just for a moment.