HOW DO I TRUST AGAIN?

A mom wrote to me, I wrote to you a few years ago about my son’s addiction. As every parent, we barely functioned for almost three years. After his marriage of two years ended, he went to rehab and a halfway house for some time. Today, he has a good job, met a great girl, and seems to be doing well. He just announced his engagement and, even though things seem better, I worry. I know I should have a positive outlook, but the past haunts me. How do you ever begin to trust and live without fear?

My reflection, I once asked Dr. MacAfee this same question, “How do I learn to trust again? The past is hard to forget and I worry what might happen in the future.” The good doctor said, “Your feelings are normal. You’ve been vigilant a long time. Be patient with yourself.”

Today’s Promise to consider, Trusting that a recovering loved one will stay well and not return to the chaos of addiction is difficult. Most of us have been deeply scarred by years of turbulence. Today, I’ll be gentle with myself. I’ll breathe, acknowledge my fear, and move toward releasing my worry. My loved one deserves this effort. So do I.

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View Comments (5)

Patty says:

September 2, 2021 at 1:28 pm

When you realize you’re back playing good cop bad cop, I continually play volleyball with God. I just have to Trust that He loves him more than I and leave the ball in God’s court. He has a job, a girl and is creative again. My job is on my knees. Prayer is my best option for my 32 yr old son!
- libbycataldi says:
  
  September 3, 2021 at 1:11 pm
  
  Dear Patty, I love your words, "My job is on my knees." I join you in prayer, love, and faith. xo
Kathy Griffin says:

September 2, 2021 at 10:05 pm

I, too, find myself always worrying, questioning, and looking for signs of relapse. Friends and family members that were never caught up in the chaos of addiction don't understand. It's hard to shut down those feelings. We want the best of our children and never want them to revisit the suffering and pain of addiction. It is a daily struggle for us as parents just as recovery is a daily struggle for them. With a son that will be graduating from college soon and a job prospect in the future, I have to remind myself to let go and let God!
- libbycataldi says:
  
  September 3, 2021 at 1:14 pm
  
  Dear Kathy, You're are so right -- we need to 'let go and let God.' That is my mantra for so many things in life, especially with my son and the worry of relapse. We've been vigilant a long time, and it's hard to let go of worry and fear. God bless your son for his courage and strength. I join you in faith and prayer.
miguel says:

September 4, 2021 at 6:13 pm

WHY DO YOU KEEP DELETING MY COMMENTS? fair enough that you didn't study to learn to try to find a solution to your son's affliction, but censoring the truth is sinful. Addiction is the tormented psychology of a liar