HUMBLED BY ADDICTION

A mother wrote to me: My son is still doing well. He has been sober now for seventeen months and, as you know, it’s still one day at a time. I don’t think I will ever totally be free from this addiction thing. I have been so humbled by it.

My reaction to the above passage: The words, “I have been so humbled by it,” touched me deeply. I was once Head of School where the system was set-up so that I was in charge; I was a boss. In the face of addiction, I learned that I was in charge of nothing and didn’t even have the ability to save my own son. In the face of addiction, I learned to be grateful for the little things like surviving five minutes. In the face of addiction, I learned that humility is a good thing.

Today’s promise to consider: Being humble is a powerful teacher. Today is not the day for arrogance or pride. I can get on my knees to pray, I can reach out my hand for help and I can ask someone to forgive me. Today I will think less about myself and my own worries and more about those I love.

 

 

 

 

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Claire
Claire
10 years ago

Thank you Libby AGAIN! This is the most powerful message of the disease if addiction! It humbles us, sometimes I look at others and say that they need a humbling experience in life to bring them to their knees. Mine was my son’s addiction. It taught me what was really important in life and I was forever changed by this!!
The one thing I carry with me every day from this experience is that no matter what comes my way, I will handle it because I know I have been through addiction which is a life and death experience – you go through something like that and everything else in your life is “A walk in the park”. God Bless – have a good week-end.

Lisa
Lisa
10 years ago

My son was abusing prescription pain killers…oxycontin for a very long time. We confronted him and tried to help him many many times…with no success. In 2009 he finally admitted he had a problem and we got him help. We thought we were finally on the right track…but he was still manipulating us. He had been arrested a few times for possession and was on probation for a long while. Then he got arrested again on a much more serious charge and now he is going to go to prison for 18 months. He sees a therapist weekly now and is on an opiate maintenance program and seems to be doing okay. He will begin his prison sentence in January ’12. We are all so fragile and I really don’t know how I am going to get through it. I wish I knew where to go or what to do to prepare myself. I feel scared and helpless. I read your book and I follow your website…it’s been a tremendous help. But I’m in a pretty desperate state right now.

Claire
Claire
10 years ago

Lisa,
If you have not already…go to Alanon or Naranon meetings in your area for support. These meetings will help you and your family get through the prison time…and beyond. I went to these programs for 11 years. My son’s addiction was from age 12 thru 17. He is now 38. I started going to meetings when he was 15 and stayed in the programs way past after he got clean and sober, giving back to those who feel hopeless and helpless with this disease and the ramifications. These meetings and the people in the rooms were my lifesavers! and saved my sanity. Good Luck

Libby Cataldi
Libby Cataldi
10 years ago

Dear Lisa,

You are desperate and both Claire and I understand. We’ve been there. You are not alone. Addiction suffocates us and destroys our families. Al-Anon meetings were my salvation and I still go. Initially, I went to three meetings before I found one where I felt comfortable, and today I keep going back. In the halls of Al-Anon, I found others who understood my pain. They couldn’t fix things for me (and they didn’t try), but with them I found understanding and compassion.

You are fragile. When I was fragile and splintering into pieces, I reached out to Al-Anon and they were there.

Love to you. You and your son are in my prayers,

L

Claire
Claire
10 years ago

‘UNLESS YOU HAVE WALKED A MILE IN MY SHOES, YOU CAN NEVER KNOW MY PAIN’….so true when it comes to this subject of addiction.
My friends that knew me felt bad for what I was going through with my son but only the people in the rooms really understood the pain my whole family was dealing with. God Bless you and yours!

Jane
Jane
10 years ago

Lisa I am so sorry you or anyone has to go through such a traumatic experience. I saw both of my kids in handcuffs once and decided I was not strong enough to attend any of the courtroom stuff. Drug usage brings on a lot of courtroom stuff. But that was how I decided I had to take care of my feelings. I stayed out of the court and let them handle that. Al anon was where I started my healing process. I have also saught professional help too and a combination of support group and therapist has helped me. Our healing process is a journey too. I recognize that even if my son never fully recovers and works his life well, I have mine and I don’t want to waste it being sad all the time. I had to find a way to go on in my life and relearn how to feel joy again. It is a tempered happiness. There is always a remembrance of loss that I feel deep down, but it does not consume me like it used to. Al Anon is essential for families like ours. Good luck
Jane

Libby
Libby
10 years ago

Jane, I love your words, “tempered happiness.” I get it – it makes sense. Love to you. Libby