A recovering addict wrote, Things couldn’t be better for me. I’m almost nine months sober, very active in a 12-step program and working at Apple. Life is drama free and I’m keeping things as simple as possible. No sex and relationships for a year! I volunteer to be of service, and I even pray and meditate daily – most days that is. Life has finally smoothed out. No more daily pain and depression. I’m involved and present with my family and loved ones. I’m well, content! Can you believe it?? It took long enough! But I was blessed with the gift of desperation…finally! And I was ready for change. So here I am!
My reflection: This young man’s renewed enthusiasm for life is inspiring. He wrote that he was blessed with the gift of desperation which is something The Big Book of AA points to as a profound turning point in many lives. The desperation of drowning in pain caused by active addiction is a powerful force and provided him the willingness to make some crucial changes.
Today’s Promise to consider: Addicts are not the only ones who are blessed with the gift of desperation. When my son was at his worst, I, too, was desperate, and it was at that moment that I learned to surrender. Today, I pray that all our loved ones, who are suffering with addiction, will be gifted with the strength to start on the road to a healthy life. And I pray for all of us, who love them, for our peace.
We can clearly see two main requirements for recovery, one is desperation and the other is readiness. However, I see one key ingredient that is missing and that is willingness. You can be desperate and ready but without willingness recovery remains on hold.
Once I got out of my son’s way he developed desperation and that desperation lead him to being ready to change but it didn’t happen. Why? What has to happen for long term recovery to become a reality? Willingness and that willingness was created when my son dropped to his knees and asked God to enter his life. He told me he told God he was desperate and ready but when God was accepted fully he became willing. He told me he felt HOPE enter his soul and I responded, that was the Holy Spirit.
I had lunch with my son today and he bought MY lunch! Wow, miracles continue to happen. thank you God.
Wow – what a victory for you and your son. He was lost and now he found himself. He bought you lunch! I join you in celebration and joy.
Thanks, too, for the idea about willingness. You are so right. Our sons had to be WILLING to change their lives. So did we.
Love to you and yours. You’re a leader in the field. Thank you.
What a lovely story Pat. To have your son buy you lunch, such great pleasure and happiness from such a simple act. It gives me hope when I hear stories like this.
Thanks for sharing it.
I love this post.
Pat, like Sue, I share in this joy for you — I so so so understand the depth of joy that gesture means. The gratitude in your words. Weekly -some time more frequently my son reaches out to me– –to tell me something, but I think it is to well… just connect. That means the world to me. Those of us who have known years of darkness and other side of addiction , months of missing in action children and fear every time the phone rang could only dream and pray the phone would ring with a happy tone again one day. It does these days. But I never forget. I offer prayers for all suffering the anxiety and powerlessness that loving a child in active addiction brings. Surround your self with good friends who can help you find laugher in the midst of the darkness. Don’t let the demon steal your life or your joy. Never give up hope. Share Libby’s book with the world. Her gift of desperation from source of amazing grace is such a gift to us.