A dad wrote to me: I am so tired of the lies and the constant drama that our family has had to deal with. We parents care so much for our children that it’s really difficult to watch them self-destruct. I’m getting much better at realizing that I am in control of just one person: myself. I think prayer is the only answer.
My reflection: It’s counterintuitive to admit that we can’t control the behavior of our addicted loved ones, especially when they’re young. It was unfathomable to me that Jeff wouldn’t listen, even when I threatened to make him leave the house, take away his car, or send him to a treatment center in some distant state. My dad’s words rang in my ears, “Tell him to stop, dammit. Tell him to stop.”
Today’s Promise to consider: Once, at an Al-Anon meeting, the speaker held a hula-hoop over her head and then dropped it around her and onto the floor. She pointed to her feet to bring our attention to the space inside the hoop, “I can control only what’s inside this circle.” It was a simple visual that resonated deeply with me. My son had his own hoop. I had mine.4428
This is the reminder I need to say every day!
“ I can only control me”!!!
Prayer is what gets this Mom through…
Dear Mary, I join you in prayer and hope. xo
I took need the constant reminder no matter how much I want it it’s up to him not me but as a mom it’s so damn hard
Dear Lori, Yes, it’s SO hard. I still have to remind myself. Somehow, it doesn’t get easier. Love to you.