GRANDMOTHERS: NONNA CARMELA

Nonna Carmela and Libby at her First Holy Communion

I wrote this in IT TAKES A LIFETIME: My grandmother Carmela was my North Star, my safe port in many childhood storms. Strong. Independent. She swept the snow from her sidewalk wearing only a sweater, made her own wine, canned her own tomatoes, strung her own peppers to dry in the basement, and found edible dandelions for salads in the yard.

She was the matriarch of la famiglia, whose grown sons stopped by every night after work to eat at her table before going to their own homes to eat again.

She couldn’t read or write—not in Italian, not in English—but she was the smartest person I knew. She taught me how to eat pasta, how to cook, how to pray, and how to protect those I love.

My reflection: Grandmothers often hold a special place in our hearts. Now that I’m a grandmother myself, with more time and fewer obligations, I think that there are times when I’m a better grandmother than I was mother.

Something to think about: Who was your North Star? Was it your grandmother or someone else who helped shape who you are? Who gives you strength? Feel free to share in the comments or reply. I read every response.

FINDING OUR ROOTS

by libbycataldi under Uncategorized

“IT TAKES A LIFETIME TO LEARN HOW TO LIVE: An Italian American Story of Coming Home” will be published on November 4, 2025.

What is this book about?: It’s an intimate, multigenerational mother-daughter memoir rooted in secrets, silence, and sacrifice—passed down from one generation to the next.

In 1915, my grandmother Carmela left the remote village of Rotondella in southern Italy. Her daughter—my mother, Laura—was born in Pittsburgh and grew up determined to leave the past behind so she could become fully American.

Decades later, as my own life unraveled under the weight of a divorce, my son’s heroin addiction, breast cancer, a bilateral mastectomy, and my father’s death, I set off alone to Italy, searching for truth and belonging.

I found Rotondella and family, but I also uncovered the past traumas and beliefs of the malocchio, omertà, rigid Catholicism, abject poverty, arranged marriages, patriarchal control, Mafia, and suspicion of sexual abuse. Only then did I begin to understand how these forces shaped not only Nonna’s life, but also my mother’s—and my own.

By honoring the courage of the women who came before me and confronting the generational trauma they carried, I was finally able to open my heart to the grace of forgiveness.

Something to consider: Could it be that by understanding the trauma passed down by the women before us, we can begin to heal—and finally break the bonds of the past, for our own sake and for the sake of our children?

What you can expect from these meditations: Together, we’ll explore the power of finding our roots and the complex, often complicated relationships between mothers and daughters. Please join me.

If you would like to preorder a copy, there are several options: Asterism, Bookshop, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon.

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