A mom sent me a quote: When the Dalai Lama was asked what surprised him most about humanity, he answered, Man. He is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.
My reflection: Living in the present moment sounds easy, but I find it hard to do. The human mind is a whirlwind, twisting among problems, goals and projections. When Jeff was in active addiction, I spent most of my days with one foot in the past, second-guessing what I should have done differently, or in the future, worrying about what I would do when some catastrophe occurred.
Today’s Promise to consider: Today, I will work hard to live in the present. When my mind drifts into the past or the future, I will gently bring it back to the moment. I’ll harness my monkey mind and live today, for today, knowing the past is over and trusting that God will take care of the future.
.
Today I am sitting in front of beautiful water at a beach house with my h on a week of vacation. As far as we know, our son is not in a good place right now. We got some unsettling news at the beginning of our vacation and could have easily ruined what we had planned, but decided we are powerless over his choices; his life. After tears and feeling the feelings of sadness and disappointment, we stayed with our vacation plans of a week at the beach. After ten years of forcing solutions, my husband is learning , too, that we must let go and let God. We all reach that place at different times, in the ability to let go.
Today I am listening to the birds off my deck, watching the pretty water and trying to stay present for some serenity in this peaceful
Spot.
Praying that one day my son will have a life with a little less struggle. Praying for his recovery. Praying for knowledge from God in how best to carry out my role as his mother.
Love
Jane
I try not to think of or to dwell on the future because I know that at my age and with my cancer history, there may not be a future. Each morning I thank God for another day in my life and then I try to enjoy and make good use of the day HE has given me. I am surrounded by a wonderful wife and people who love me and I love them.
My son and I went to the driving range last night and practiced for about an hour and then we went to dinner.
I sat across from him………….amazed. A sober and clean son. A miracle. In the past I would have carried with me my resentments of the past and fear of the future; working hard on myself through the Families Anonymous Twelve Step Program with a sponsor and trusting the God of my understanding I could now live in the moment. A moment filled with love, gratitude and peace.
Serenity, I embrace it moment by moment.
May it be so for all who are on their road to recovery.
I, too, struggle to live in the present. But, with prayer and endless rosaries, it is as good as it gets. Last month was five years since my son died, one year since my grandson died, both from overdoses. Even though it was a reminder of his death, I relished in the thought that he and his son no longer have to struggle with the addiction. I wish I had a positive story to relate, as Pat’s, but I am so thrilled that his son has found sobriety. Pat, I am so happy for you and your son. Many prayers have been answered.
Libby, thank you for the uplifting meditation from Dalai Lama. It is so true, and I am going to practice it.
Jane, enjoy your vacation. You inspire me. You have great courage. I pray every day for your son. I hope he soon finds himself again.
With love,
Barbara
Dear Richard,
Thanks for writing in! It’s a blessing to see you here, contributing to our community.
Jane, I agree with Barbara – enjoy every moment! You have great courage and we all join in praying for your son.
Pat, God bless you and your son. Thanks for sharing your hope and faith, gratitude and peace.
Barbara, My heart reaches out to you with love. You have suffered the immense losses of your son and grandson, and your faith continues to be a role model for me. Thank you, dear friend, for being here.
Love you all.
L
Dear Jane,
I re-read your posting this morning and even though it weighed heavy on my heart (for you), I found your posting to be very uplifting. I admire you for carrying out your vacation plans.
I also found your posting of prayer to God for how/what your role as a mother, in all of this chaos, should be, such a positive reinforcement. You are keeping the faith. That is courage.
Enjoy yourself!
Hugs and love to you,
Your friend,
Barbara
Living in the present is a gift we can give to ourselves. Richard, you are lucky to have your loving family and especially to know the importance of appreciating each day. I spent years of my time and attention on my son and his addiction, not always enjoying the blessings in my life. It did no good. Now that he is serving a four year prison sentence, he is saying all of the things that we tried to tell him while he was chasing drugs and throwing his life away. He can’t believe that he chose drugs over a good family and a chance for a happy life, and that he is now living a prison nightmare. I feel some sadness for him and his circumstances, but I no longer let it interfere with my life.
When I read Jane’s post I thought, “Yes, that is the way we, the parents of addicts, must think.” We must live for the moment and enjoy our blessings while letting go of our addicts’ problems so they can figure them out for themselves. I didn’t always think this way. It is actually easier for me to do now that he is incarcerated. I never thought I would say that!
I still struggle each day with how much material support to give my son while he is in jail. My counselor says minimal. My sponsor says none. My son still asks for a lot, and I am somewhere in between. I have set some boundaries-no tobacco, write letters instead of daily phone calls, a monthly budget for purchasing necessities, basic clothing and a food package once a month. Although I limit the time and effort I spend on his needs, I continue to help him because it makes me feel better. I guess I still have some letting go to do.
Today I will enjoy time with my younger son and not even think about it. Thanks everyone for sharing and listening.
I find it so hard to live in the present and enjoy what is around me for any length of time. The sadness and worry about my daughter always creep in. I try so hard to move on with my life and for the most part if I keep myself busy I can do it but the quiet times are still a problem for me. Its amazing the power guilt has on us, or more to the point, the power we allow guilt to have.
It always surprises me how difficult this process is and how many setbacks we encounter along the way, not only with our loved one but with our own recovery as well. I have come to realize this is and always will be a lifelong journey so I know I need to find some way to let go of the past, not worry about the future and start living today or it will be a very sad and lonely life.
I thank all of you for your posts each week as they continue to give me strength, hope and courage in these tough times.