A friend wrote to me, This week, we laid a family friend to rest. It was a sudden and unexpected passing. The priest’s sermon was Life is a Gift.  This is something that I know to be true; however, I have not been true to it, especially not this month. I’ve been rushing around and distracted. I heard his message loud and clear: SLOW DOWN and focus on the present.

My reflection: It’s easy to get caught up in the rush of the season as we try to accomplish our to-do list. Soon it will be over, and all we’ll have are memories.

Today’s Promise to consider: We all know that our problems don’t go away for the holidays, and they often loom over every moment. It is up to us to make the decision to pause and be grateful for this time with our loved ones, our friends, and even ourselves. There will be plenty of time to worry and fret, but – for this one day, for this one season – let us slow down and give thanks. Let us focus on what is important and who is important.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all our friends around the world. Love from our family to you and yours.

There are similarities between addiction and this pandemic. I find myself struggling with the familiar feelings of uncertainty and fear, so I talked with a friend about it. After the phone call, she wrote and gave me sensible advice, “Maybe it would be good if you took some time for yourself. Try and read a book to soothe your soul, cook, bake, meditate, or listen to music. Do whatever you can do to take care of yourself.  Remember Loving-Kindness goes both ways – to others and to ourselves.”

My reflection: All of us, who are living with or have lived with addiction, know well the feelings of distress, of waiting for the other shoe to drop, or of holding our breath when the phone rings at night. We also know how easy it is to overlook self-care when tensions run high.

Today’s Promise to consider: After living through an addiction, I’m no stranger to uncertainty or fear. Maybe this pandemic touches those same emotions that were once so fragile. Today, I will take steps to counteract suffering by practicing Loving-Kindness to myself. When we are happy, we are better for ourselves and others. Let us water those seeds that most support us.

Tara Brach, one of my favorite Buddhist practitioners, says: When we practice gratitude or sending well wishes to others, those are the neural pathways that deepen and flourish. We may very loyal to habits of anxiety and vigilance that evolved to ensure survival, but … we can undo this negativity bias by intentionally orienting in another direction.

My reflection: When my son was in active addiction, all my neural pathways seemed to be hardwired to thoughts of trauma, destruction, and negative outcomes. I worried constantly – would this be the call, would he live or not, would he ever get well? My mind marinated in fear.

Today’s Promise to consider: How are we able to feel gratitude when our loved ones are in addiction’s grasp? Brain research shows that negative thinking produces more negative thinking, and the cycle continues as it consumes us and our energies. Today, I will stop the cycle. I will identify the parts of my life for which I am grateful, and I will fight the negativity bias. Today, is Thanksgiving. It’s a good day to start.

Happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours